Monday, February 9, 2009

Rasputin Update

Class on Thursday was not the same without the Enlightened One. The entire class wanted to know why Rasputin was not in attendance. And by that I mean we all wanted to know if he was now getting butt-raped in the local mental hospital. Professor pot-head refused to give out any information, so I took matters into my own hands.
I figured that the campus police would not willingly give out the juicy information, so I made a plan. I pretended to be Sacha, the girl that was hit in the face. I put my hair in a pony tail and got my nerd glasses out of my glove box. I didn't want them to recognize me as the creepy girl that hid in the bushes. I walked nervously into the office ( I wasn't really nervous, but my plan was to act like I was nervous about being clocked in the face again.) Looking over my shoulder like Rasputin could jump out me any second, I asked about his whereabouts. The officer tried to play it cool at first but I think he had a thing for scared girls in glasses. It turns out that Rasputin was taken to the school counseling center and prescribed some meds that should shut him up. That shouldn't matter though because he is no longer allowed on campus. The officer also informed me that he is allowed to take his classes online. That is just what Rasputin needs, more time online playing World Of Warcraft and reading about wizards.
I was hoping that something much more unfair and violent would have happened to him. I think the penalty for pretending you are God, and suggesting the class shove tampons in their butts, should be prison rape. But that's just me.

1 comment:

  1. Emily! (I folowed this link from your facebook.) And this is the Greatest blog I have ever read! I look forward to reading more of your mis-adventures!
    Rachel

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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