Saturday, April 4, 2009

I Love My Period


Last night Jared and I went to visit our good friends who had just had a little baby girl. She was only 5 lbs or about the size of a pot roast. I hate to admit it but I love little babies. As soon as I walked in I handed New Mom her gift then monopolized the baby. I only let someone else touch her when she pooped her pants. And I still liked her after that.



Jared loves babies more than me. If he could give birth I bet he would. He wants one yesterday. The closer I get to actually having one the more scared I become. For instance, I could have graduated this December, but I decided to take a few more classes and now I'll graduate next spring. I use school as a total cop out.
I have had ample experience with children. I am the second oldest of 7 kids, my older brother was crazy so he doesn't count, I might as well be the oldest. Mom was sick with Colitis and by default I did my fair share of making sure the little brats stayed alive. Though I did my best to make it fun. Punishments included:

-bare knuckle boxing matches between the perpetrators.
-sitting beside the TV so they could watch everyone else watching it.
-cleaning my room or the dirtiest bathroom.
-making my brothers dress up in tutus while I photographed for later blackmail.
This is what happens when you leave an unpaid angry 13 year old in charge.

In recent years I have been a nanny. Don't worry, I am much nicer to kids who aren't my siblings. I have watched kids for up to two weeks at a time while the parents go on vacation. I help out in the nursery at church and I'm in love with those little humans. Maybe this is why I am unsure about having children: I know exactly what I am getting into....well I have a pretty good idea.

Also, I am selfish. I figure these are some of the only times in my life when it is somewhat acceptable. I don't know if I am cut out for the crazy job that Motherhood is. I find myself worrying about dumb things that come with babies. Case in point:

- I do not live near family, who will babysit?
- When will I work out?
- How will I function on less than 9 hours of sleep?
- How big are my boobs going to get?
- What do you do when you're chillin out with a baby all day?
- What if I break it?
- If I don't like it can I give it away?

I also drool over every baby I see, even If I don't know them. I make all my "Mom" friends let me hold their little kids, if they don't let me I will bribe the kid with candy. I really want babies when I see a cute one.... I want to run home and jump on Jared. I feel like octomom. This is what scares me. I think I am going to try to limit my time around cute babies.

I am sure I'll come to terms with motherhood eventually. Until then I will keep extending my graduation.

amen.


2 comments:

  1. You never cry or are scared, but a pot roast sized baby frightens you?! Yep, youre crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Like I have said before, you can hold Benjamin any time!!!!

    You better not put this baby thing off too long. I'm counting on you to be my prego partner. And then we can work off all our baby fat together.

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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