Thursday, June 11, 2009

Health 101

My sister in law is a cute thoughtful girl. While living in Ohio she was in High School and as you know, 17 year olds know everything. Jared and I were spending a quiet evening in my Father in law's living room, Jared's sweet sister, whom I'll refer to as Carly, entered the room to use the computer. My father in law, aka Lear-bear, was hanging out with us too.

We somehow got on the topic of how I am more "girlie" than Carly. Carly immediately disagreed, then graced us with the knowledge that she has more estrogen that I do, and therefore my girlishness was a facade. I was curious as to how she measured my estrogen without me knowing.

Jared asked: What makes you think your estrogen levels are higher?

Carly: Because my boobs are way bigger than Emily's.

Jared: Does that mean your vagina is way bigger too?



Carly ended up storming off to her room as Lear-bear and I fell on the floor laughing. I guess I would be mad too if my brother asked me about my big vagina and my dad giggled.


I am going to have to assume that our public schools are not doing a good job at this whole anatomy subject.
Further evidence:
While hanging out with my little sister Sarah on our previous family vacation, I was surprised to learn about how male ejaculation really works. While eating Clam Chowder (ew!), Sarah taught me things I had never learned of before. Apparently Men only ejaculate when having sex. If they are simply um... doing it themselves, nothing comes out.
I asked Sarah if she thought her teacher had ever "done it" before, because surely a married woman would know what she is talking about. She answered that the teacher was pregnant, so we have got to assume everything that comes out of her mouth is gospel truth.

Class Review:

Now we know that boob size is in direct correlation with the amount of estrogen you have. Next time we see a man with boobs, we can assume that his estrogen levels are high.

Knocked up teachers are good resources for questions about male-parts and their functions.


(picture attributed to: http://www.womenshealthmatters.ca/)

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Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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