Wednesday, November 25, 2009

In Humble Thanks

In honor of the huge Thanksgiving lie of the Pilgrims and "Indians" coming together with peace and benevolence, I am obligated to share a list of crap I am thankful for.

1. Jear-Bear
My good-looking husband who accepts the fact that I only cook twice a year, that I don't wake up beautiful, and rarely act appropriately. My life would certainly be much less awesome without him.


2. My Fam

With people like the Barlockers and Scotts in my life, it is fair to say I am a lucky girl. Though I am about 98% sure my family likes Jared more than me, I am still grateful for them. Plus, only 1 or 2 of them talk trash about us and our questionable lifestyle.


3. My New Ride

After a few (or maybe 7-8) "incidents" with my driving ability and car(s), I am now driving this manly piece of machinery. Don't be jealous. I am mostly thankful that I don't have to ride my bike to the Metrolink at 6am.



I am obviously grateful for much more, but being that its about time for my bi-annual cooking, I need to make pumpkin pies. Wish me luck! (Dont worry, if things go awry I have a Costco coupon.)

Monday, November 23, 2009

Pee-Shirt

Yesterday I was peed on.

And I was not the one doing the peeing..... Seriously.

At church I work in the nursery. I basically get to ditch the boring classes to hang out with 1-3 year old kids and eat snacks. Though it sometimes is a little chaotic, it's mostly awesome.

As a mom dropped her adorable little girl off yesterday, I took her and held her to calm her down. Kids who are new to nursery usually cry the first few weeks when their parents leave. Anyway, I took her and she stopped crying within a couple of minutes. She really loves to be held and because she is so cute someone is always holding her.

That is when I felt a steamy warmth spread across my new Anthropologie shirt. I thought she was for sure going number one, but I didn't think it was leaking. So I held for about 10 more minutes. I got a chair and sat down. As I put her on my lap I noticed my shirt clung to my stomach. I cautiously poked the saturated area to see if it was, in fact, pee.

It was.

I lifted her up off my lap and to my horror, saw the moist pee stamp on my skirt.

I am not very used to getting peed on by anyone, other than myself.

I didn't know what to do. As I held the kid at arms length, I delivered her to her mom. I ran back and quickly told the other ladies in nursery that I had to go home and change. I knew if I didn't hurry I could die from being grossed out.

I ran home and put on another urine-free shirt. My heartbeat returned to normal. Feeling much better, I returned to finish my sentence as nursery leader.

Jared also made fun of me all day.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Hi. My name is Emily and I'm an Addict.

Having recently become a Documentary-aholic, I would like to invite whoever is reading this to come along with me on my path to compulsive addiction.

My substance abuse problems all started years ago when I offered a viewing of Girlhood, a documentary about teen girls in the foster care system. I tried not to give into peer pressure but in the end my convictions were too weak. I gathered with the others in a small remote basement room and closed my eyes, knowing that I was about to watch something that was potentially addicting. I promised myself that no matter how good the video was, I would only do it this once.

That's when I started getting into the show. It was amazing. Like nothing I have ever experienced before. I knew I wanted more, and that I would never be able to just stop at one.

At first my usage was casual. You know, just special occasions or on the weekends. But before long I watching every Documentary anyone recommended to me. I even took random recommendations from people I barely knew. I watched Nanook of the North; the 1st documentary ever made, Guns Germs and Steel, Why we fight, Waste=Food, Blue Planet, Hitler, Born into Brothels, and other fascinating films.

I knew I had reached the point of no return when last week as I was ordering a textbook from Amazon.com, I checked over both my shoulders and sneakily added a few DVDs into my checkout cart. When Jared saw the our online bill I nonchalantly admitted to ordering my textbook, and maybe a couple of other things.....
When the DVDs arrived in the mail, Jared realized that I had a problem. Borrowing Documentaries from the Library was no longer good enough for me. I had to have my own copies.

I have since come to terms with my addiction. And because misery loves company it is probably a good idea that you hit up your local library or youtube for the following:

Children Underground
Quite possibly one of my favorite documentaries. It follows the life of a few kids in Romania living in the Underground Subway stations. Stealing food, paint sniffing, and violence make this film both amazing and sad.

Taxi to the Dark Side
Details United States torture practices in the Middle East and at Guantanamo Bay. Comments on the loss of American ideals in the quest for national security.

My Flesh and Blood

Susan Tom and her 11 adopted special needs children. 8 year old Faith's story, whose entire head is covered in scars from a fire, is especially touching. If you are ever feeling sorry for yourself, watch 10 min of this film and all will be well.

Dark Days
Homeless people who live permanently in New York's Subway tunnels. Also referred to as the "Mole People" they discuss the horrors of childhood, jail time, losing children, being coke-heads.

Planet Earth

Because our world is awesome. Can I get an Amen?

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