Monday, September 5, 2011

Sugar Titty

Pee-baby is a little quitter.

Recently he has quit his pacifier, which sucks more than you can imagine.
He has also quit sleeping through the night, quit behaving for more than 8 minutes at a time, and quit enjoying car rides.
He also quit having hair on the back of his head. He is now sporting a stylin' baby bald spot.

(This is not Cryin' Ryan, but the bald spot does look exactly like this.... minus the green headband.)

Most notably, he has also decided to quit nursing from my left boob.

You read that right... he will not latch on my left boob.

Though I am all for voluptuous breasts, my
full left breast next to the empty right one is not really what I had in mind.

But, no need to fear! Jared's Grandma to the rescue!
She told us about the good ol' days when people gave their babies the sugar titty. really.
Jared asked her to repeat herself.... 5 times..... I think Jared just liked hearing his grandma say "titty".

Turns out, a sugar titty is a actually a pretty reasonable solution to Baby Ryan's poor behavior. You put sugar or honey in a piece of fabric, twist it, then tie it in a knot. Then the baby sucks on it.... hence "sugar tit". Seriously. Google it. I'm pretty sure filling your baby up with empty calories has no negative repercussions.

I bet you were anticipating a much dirtier picture... but my mom read this blog. amen.

And apart from the fact that sugar rots their mouths and honey has the potential to cause brain damage, it seemed like a really good idea. Thanks for ruining everything Kelly.

1 comment:

  1. Not to rain on your parade but there are like FIVE MILLION signs posted in every dr's office stating that giving a baby honey before they turn one can cause brain damage.......you'll have to change his name Retarded Ryan and that would be awesome

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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