Friday, October 28, 2011

72 hours

As a Mormon I am genetically wired to to do specific things. The very DNA that runs through my veins compels me to act a certain way.

Lately I have this innate need to gather material goods and put them in a backpack.

Behold the 72 hour kit:



These bad boys are supposed to save people in the event of an emergency. The idea is jam as much crap as can possible fit into a portable bag. Then when a tsunami or earthquake strikes, you can calmly put on your 72-hour backpack and strut into the community meeting place with all your emergency essentials.

I can already imagine it.

Everyone will give me the evil eye as I smugly change into clean underwear and munch on my 2000-calorie granola and freeze-dried berries. Envious onlookers will cringe as I drop water-purifying tablets into my stainless steel bottles.


I will blow my emergency whistle with pride before I fire up my hand-crank radio. I will stand as a beacon providing everyone within a 100 foot radius with light from my lantern that lasts continuously for 144 hours.

Then I will apply lipgloss so I'm ready for the rescue parties to arrive.

It will be awesome.

Moral of the story:
In the event of an emergency - find some Mormons.

3 comments:

  1. I can't agree with you more. You are awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The fact that you have lip gloss in your 72 hour kit when so many other more important items are missing is the reason I am friends with you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I also made 72 hour kits a couple weeks ago...my thoughts exactly:)

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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