As a Mormon I am genetically wired to to do specific things. The very DNA that runs through my veins compels me to act a certain way.
Lately I have this innate need to gather material goods and put them in a backpack.
Behold the 72 hour kit:
These bad boys are supposed to save people in the event of an emergency. The idea is jam as much crap as can possible fit into a portable bag. Then when a tsunami or earthquake strikes, you can calmly put on your 72-hour backpack and strut into the community meeting place with all your emergency essentials.
I can already imagine it.
Everyone will give me the evil eye as I smugly change into clean underwear and munch on my 2000-calorie granola and freeze-dried berries. Envious onlookers will cringe as I drop water-purifying tablets into my stainless steel bottles.
I will blow my emergency whistle with pride before I fire up my hand-crank radio. I will stand as a beacon providing everyone within a 100 foot radius with light from my lantern that lasts continuously for 144 hours.
Then I will apply lipgloss so I'm ready for the rescue parties to arrive.
It will be awesome.
Moral of the story:
In the event of an emergency - find some Mormons.