B.C. (Before Child) I would spot frumpy looking women who looked like they got hit by a truck. These chics looked like they hated their lives and had simply gave up.
You know who I'm talking about.... girls with unkempt hair, bags under the eyes, wearing pajamas all the time and chasing their bratty kids around everywhere.
I would see these girls all the time. The bank, grocery stores, at college, church etc.
I SWORE I would never get to that sad, sad, point.
A few days ago at my favorite grocery store, Albertson's, I was picking out some grapes with Cryin Ryan.
I looked down and saw this:
(Pay no attention to my disaster of a house)
I stood by the grapes for 10 min shaking my head in shame.
It wasn't even early in the morning. I was still in my sweats at 4:00pm.
I snuck around the store ninja-style so no one would see the mess I had become.
I devised a plan to pinch Rat-Baby really hard if I ran into anyone. Then all the attention would be on my screaming baby and simultaneously give me a great excuse to leave in a hurry.
Lucky for Ryan, the coast was clear.
I was checking out when on of the regular baggers came over to bag my grapes, milk and candy.
He said, "You look tired."
I wanted to say, "EFF YOU, bagboy."
But in my ugly induced shame I nodded and frumpishly walked to my car.
At least I had on semi-clean underwear. amen.