Monday, April 29, 2013

Sweatpants @ Albertsons


B.C. (Before Child) I would spot frumpy looking women who looked like they got hit by a truck. These chics looked like they hated their lives and had simply gave up.

You know who I'm talking about.... girls with unkempt hair, bags under the eyes, wearing pajamas all the time and chasing their bratty kids around everywhere.

I would see these girls all the time. The bank, grocery stores, at college, church etc.
I SWORE I would never get to that sad, sad, point.

A few days ago at my favorite grocery store, Albertson's, I was picking out some grapes with Cryin Ryan.
I looked down and saw this:

 (Pay no attention to my disaster of a house)

I stood by the grapes for 10 min shaking my head in shame.
It wasn't even early in the morning. I was still in my sweats at 4:00pm.

I snuck around the store ninja-style so no one would see the mess I had become.
I devised a plan to pinch Rat-Baby really hard if I ran into anyone. Then all the attention would be on my screaming baby and simultaneously give me a great excuse to leave in a hurry.

Lucky for Ryan, the coast was clear.
I was checking out when on of the regular baggers came over to bag my grapes, milk and candy.
He said, "You look tired."

I wanted to say, "EFF YOU, bagboy."
But in my ugly induced shame I nodded and frumpishly walked to my car.

At least I had on semi-clean underwear. amen.

6 comments:

  1. When I went to go get my baby dressed the other day, my husband said "I can get him dressed so you can go get ready.." I'm pretty sure he was trying to hint at something..

    Now as I read this I am wearing yoga pants, a t-shirt, no bra and my hair is in a sloppy bun/ponytail.

    Fuuuhhh

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  2. This is nice. I used to be you when you kids were little. (I called them orphan days). Now I'm sitting here in capris, a nice shirt, flip flops, curled hair and make up. :) .... sweating like a pig because of this lovely menopause - and when I'm done with errands, I think I'll go home and put on my sweats and put my hair in a ponytail! ON PURPOSE! - when you're 50 you're done trying to impress people! I love getting older! Soon I can wear leopard stretch pants and people will think I'm a cute old grandma. Oh yea! ; D

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  3. First off...you're skinny so you can get away with sweats, especially cute ones like these. When my ankle biters were young (I had 4 kids under the age of 10 by the time I was 30), I made it a point to get myself ready first in the morning before them. I'd take them to school and pick them up and was always appalled by the other mothers in sweats, dirty hair and no make up. The same in grocery stores and parks. Like they dropped out of the human race, their kids the big excuse.

    I love my yoga pants and messy bun on days when I don't have to leave the house and although I'm no diva, I don't want to scare anyone when I go out.

    Just be you, make yourself come first 99% of the time and it should all fall in place. Maybe.

    XO,
    Jane

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  4. I liked this post...so funny. I can relate. I have great intentions of getting myself ready every day, but when the morning comes I often find myself turning to my sweats. I even tell myself "they are cute sweats from VS so I can get away with it". But I doubt others agree. Oh well, such is life as a mommy:)

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  5. I did this all the time before baby because Im a lazy ass, at least now i can use him as an excuse....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving comment! I enjoyed this post, brought back memories of when I was a young mother. :-)
    I am your newest follower!

    Beth

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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