In the past couple of weeks I have been guilty of the following:
1. I put three dirty dishes in the dishwasher, which was full of clean dishes..... then I restarted the dishwasher because I was too lazy to empty it and/or hand wash my 3 dishes.
2. Actively trying to make Fegalicious cry even though her brain doesn't function on an human adult level. I suspect that teasing her is similar to teasing a angry squirrel.
3. I waste approximately 8-10 butt-wipes every time I change Ryan's poo diapers. I am deathly scared of getting any of his logs on my hands.
4. I looked at a huge mess Ryan made and thought "Someone should really clean that". Then I went to the park instead.
5. I wrote things down on my To Do list even though I had already done them. I wanted to cross them out so I would feel more productive.
6. One day I slept in until 9:00am and let my hyperactive two year old run around the house with no supervision. When I got out of bed there were 6 tomatoes smashed on my couch, saturating my white pillows and ground into the carpet............ totally worth it.
7. I tempted fate by driving around on an empty fuel tank. I was too lazy to stop for gas.
8. I went on another binge reading kick. Who knew there were so many cool books about polygamy?
9. I was neglecting my sunscreen responsibilities and I noticed that my Dirty Sanchez is trying to reappear. Damn you sunny California.
10. I was on a bug-hunt with Cryin Ryan and couldn't find any insects. I was bored and hot so I just put a crumpled leaf in his jar and told him it was a spider. He was excited.
I am not very proud of this list.