Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Pregnancy Thoughts


Here are some of the actual thoughts that have been going through my head the last 7 months.


  • Why do my clothes keep shrinking?
  • Didn't I just feed/bathe Pee-Toddler yesterday?
  • My boobs are looking rather nice.
  • If I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee one more time, I'm getting a few straws and a Ziplock bag and making my own catheter.




  • When did I become so lazy that I have to give myself a pep talk every time I need to stand up?
  • How come this mirror makes my butt look so big?
  • Screw you Fit Mom:



  • Is it really that wrong to feed your kid Cheetos for breakfast?
  • Why does play dough smell sooooooo good?
  • My belly button looks like a manatee's face.



  • I am going to be super-nice to Jared as soon as I'm not pregnant anymore.
  • I am a little bit happy that I've been sick for 2 weeks so I can be unbelievably lazy.
  • Is it wrong to want to hit your fetus back every time it kicks you?


I'm messed up. Amen.






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Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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