Not surprisingly, Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam........ teacher.
Us Mormons all have jobs, or "callings" that we volunteer our time for. Everyone works for free. Most callings only take a few hours a week.
Soon after we moved to Utah and Ryan attended his first few primary meetings, Husband and I were assigned to be the 3-4 year old's teachers.
This wasn't a shock. Ryan's questionable behavior in church gave me a gut feeling that I would be punished.
About 8 little kids regularly attend.
It's cool though.
I'm basically a professional kid wrangler, so it's a piece of cake.
I enforce my usual kid rules:
1. No violence.
2. Don't tap me and say, "teacherrrr......"
3. Shut up.
4. For reals, don't freaking tap me.
A usual Sunday school lesson goes like this:
- 1:00-1:15 Pee and Drink - I already got peed on at church so I'm not taking any chances.
- 1:15-1:25 Kids tell me about their weeks and anything cool they did, that way later in the lesson I can cut them off and tell them they already had their turn to talk without feeling bad about myself.
- 1:25-1:40 Snack - because 3 hours of church is a long time and I get hungry.
- 1:40-1:42 Lesson - though we sometimes don't take up the full two minutes because low attention spans.
- 1:42-2:00 Some lame activity that loosely relates to lesson from my boys and girls club craft stockpile.
If we have extra time I let them color on themselves or put stickers all over their faces. Sometimes the kids school me on when you shouldn't say the "F" word, or who in their family is being a "sassy pants". It's precious.
Pretty easy and preparation is minimal, so I can't complain. I like that I can keep a close watch on Ryan since he has no social grace.
Plus, let's be honest, primary is wayyyyyy better than sitting through adult classes.