Ryan is in a disturbing stage of life right now.
He is obsessed with Wolves.
When I ask him why, he tells me - "Wolves are legendary predators and they are carnivores. They hunt in packs and are nocturnal."
Then I have to get out a dictionary to find out what that means.
He gets mad when I refer to him as "Ryan" - and yells, "Mooommmm! I'm called Wolfy!!!!!!!!!"
He asks for meat every meal.
He leaps around on all fours, even in public.... wait... especially in public.
I had to have a serious talk with him about that. I don't need any more reasons for child services to be called on me.
Wolfy constantly reminds me that we are a wolf family and we only do wolf things.
- We should howl at the moon. Or the sun. Or actually, just howl at everything
- No using your hands to eat since we don't have hands, we only have paws.
- It's totally fine to growl/hiss at things that piss you off.
- Wolf pups stay up late since wolf families don't pay heed to human rules.
- It's also completely OK to claw someone/anyone.
- Who cares if you're in public, you better act like the legendary wolf you are.
- We have to be alert in case any hunters come around. If you get scared you hide in a cardboard box or behind the couch.
- We have to lift up one leg for a truly authentic pee session.
Good thing wolf pups are cute.
I fully expect him to come home after his first semester of college with a majestic wolf tattoo and no friends.
So that's where I'm at in my life right now.