5.11.2016

Sloth Arm


Cryin' Ryan is a clever little kid.
He is funny, kind, and creative.




He is also foul, gross, and disgusting.


He is so creative/disgusting that every time he poops, he feels inspired to vividly describe it to me.




When I hear, "MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!! CAN YOU WIPE MY BUTT?!?!?!?!"
I know three bad things are coming my way:

1. the actual wiping of the butt
2. an accurate description of his dump
3. the throw-up that comes up the back of my throat.





What's most disturbing is that his descriptions are usually detailed and correct.

Some of the most cringe-worthy portrayals of his dumps include:

  • a battle axe
  • a long neck dino
  • beans
  • corn on the cob with some kernels eaten off
  • dead coral reef
  • butt-mud


And of course the most recent and unsettling depiction:


  • a sloth arm.





Let my say that again:

  • A sloth. arm. 






Probs one of the grossest things I've ever heard.
I don't know if I'm up for boy-momming anymore. 


Now I need to go brush my teeth.