6.13.2016

Ryan And Soccer



I'd like to bear my testimony that I know my kid is pretty good at soccer.
Also, I love my mom and dad and brothers and sisters. amen.

I signed Ryan up for soccer at Herriman Rec Center in hopes that he would learn teamwork, patience, and good sportsmanship.

I played soccer all through High School. If you don't believe me, check out this sexy picture of me posing in my uniform:




I played with my awesome friend B*tchie, I mean Christie.
And I have to recognize Laurisa for being the only teammate that would moon people with me out the back of the school bus when we drove to away games.
It was an integral part of my High School soccer experience.



I have kicked a soccer ball around with Ryan a little. We have a little net he plays with. Nothing too serious, but I taught him some moves. Soccer moves. Not mooning people moves.


We showed up at his first real live soccer game.
He had never really played a lot or with other kids so I wasn't expecting much.
I was expecting nothing actually.
Especially because he had such a bad attitude when he was initially assigned to the pink team





There were some kids on the other team with legitimate cleats and Adidas shorts, so I figured things were about to get real.

The first game Ryan's team lost 4-3. Ryan scored all 3 points for his team.
I was happy for him but thought it was just luck.



Each game he got better and was scoring 5-8 goals per game, usually all the points for his team.
Each game I got more psycho and intense.

You know those idiot parents who get all worked up over their kid's dumb sports. They freak out, yell at the ref, and have high blood pressure?

After the first couple of games I began to understand the struggle of crazy little league parents.

I had to constantly remind myself that it's inappropriate to get so worked up over a 9am soccer game between 3-4 year olds.
And I had to remind myself to stop mouth-breathing while rubbing my hands on my knees.





Ryan is awesome though. When other kids on his team helped him score, he would tell them "Hey! nice moves!", "That was some good teamwork!" or "Thanks for helping me score that goal!".




Looks like I was the one who needed to learn teamwork, patience, and good sportsmanship.
A good life lesson learned and it only cost me $40 and a few Saturday mornings.

So besides his constant announcements about his butt slime, it was a pretty good experience.




We are signed up for a summer league so Ryan can kick more butts and balls. Soccer balls.