Friday, August 4, 2017
3 Kids is Not That Fun
I'm still alive b*tches.
It's been a long time since I've blogged.
I am a different person now.
A person who is less hopeful.
A person who wears pajamas until 1pm.
A person who looks solemnly outside while placing a gentle hand on the window.
A person who wipes butts 50 times a day.
I am a person with 3 kids.
I had baby #3 at the end of April and joined the worst club in the world.
The Mom of 3 Children Club.
And this Club sucks.
Hey moms with 3 or more kids!!!:
How are you still sane???
Or, more importantly, how do you fake being sane???
Having 3 kids is kind of making me crazy.
I thought 3 kids wouldn't be that big of a deal for me.
I've worked with kids my whole life. I used to BE a kid!
And child #2 was a breeze, so I figured #3 would be similar.
People were not kidding when they said that 3 kids sucks because you only have two hands. It's incredible how often ALL THREE of my kids need something at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME.
Taking them out in public is akin to getting sucker-punched in the crotch.
It's unbelievably painful and can leave you in tears.
I was at the grocery store yesterday. I was carrying baby #3 in a Baby wrap on my chest, Cryin' Ryan, and T-bag were running around me and the shopping cart. It was a circus.
Then baby #3 started scream-crying. I forgot the pacifier.
She screamed the entire 20 minutes we were there.
I was pissed off but determined to finish shopping. There was no way I was leaving and coming back later.
Have you ever loaded 3 small children into a car?!?!?! It's not fun.
People were staring at us while shaking their heads with a small smile - like they were sending me the message, "Good for you, taking your feral children to the store.... your doing the best you can <3."
Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you the good news!
Just kidding, I'm not pregnant. It's just Taco Bell and residual baby weight.
My kids are lucky I adore them because they really suck my will. And ultimately, who else can I talk to at 6am about how many bullets I think it would take to kill a dinosaur?
And you know what? Even though having 3 kids is kicking my butt, I'm going to stay positive.
I'm going to mom my butt off - and I will be the mommiest mom ever.