We have a guava tree. And it smells like shit.
There is no way around it.
Jared thinks he's a connoisseur of fine fruit trees and picked this charmer up a couple of years ago.
While beautiful, this tree spawns fruit with a smell that makes you want to repent.
I cannot express my hatred of it enough. It smells like dead lizards rotting inside a human digestive tract mixed with the flesh of a 3 week old hippopotamus carcass. For realsies.
It is awful.
Every so often Jared skips into our house with a handful of stink-fruit and leaves them on the kitchen counter for me.
Earlier today, I had just cleaned the kitchen. I left for a minute to take a duece and when I returned and a wall of foulness hit me. 5 guavas sat smugly on my counter.
I was offended.
I was so offended that I'm not even going to go to church for a few weeks.
amen.