I somehow managed to make a baby for nine months and not get a single stretch mark. (Except the ones on my upper thighs... they are tiny so they don't count, right?)
But then,
I was rolling up my hot curling iron when my sweet little baby rushed in and tackled my legs. I ended up burning my wrist and stomach.
Burns are the worst.
I walked around the elementary school the first week of my job with a huge band-aid on my inner wrist. More than one person said I looked like a crack addict. It didn't help that my wounds were bloody and green with pus. Fortunately the kids loved looking at it.
The one on my stomach doesn't look too bad when I coat it in self tanner, but for your enjoyment I Photoshopped the bottom picture so you can see it better.
Great.
It's just what I've always wanted.