My Sister Megan Insults Newborns

Remember my rude little sister, Megan Barlocker Swenson, who called my baby a douche?

Well, a couple of days ago, she told my brother, Jake, that his newborn baby "looks like Mr. Bean"........... ON FACEBOOK.
While that is not the worst insult, it does illustrate a patten of stupidity that we have all come to expect from her.

Jake called me to vent about how stupid it is to insult a newborn. He was pissed and I am protective of my family, so I replied.

Luckily my mom deleted the picture before Jake's wife saw it. The last thing you want to hear after you carried a baby for 40 weeks and gave birth, is that people are talking crap about your sweet baby on the internet.

Did I mention my dumb sister is pregnant? You would think a pregnant chic would be smart enough to not insult other people's kids, right? She should know how protective parents get when it comes to their babies. Anyone with social skills knows that even if  you think a baby is ugly, you don't say it. And you definitely don't say it on a platform where hundreds of people will see it too. 

There are 7 kids in our family and Fegan has had problems with everyone. 

She defended her comment by saying that it was "just an observation".

I have always knew Meggy-Feg-Fegaroo was socially inept, but the problem is even worse than I imagined. I guess in her world, you can say whatever you want as long as it's "just an observation".

Here are a few of my favorite:

- Recently she "observed" that our sister Rachel was messing her life up and going to hell.
Meg-zilla has said this frequently but Rachel was so sick of it she had to threaten Megan at our brothers wedding before Megan would leave her alone.

- She "observed" how disgusting and ugly the bridesmaids dresses were for my nice little bro's wedding.

- Let's not forget the time Feg-Feg kicked our brother, Daniel, in the balls and then "observed" that he was not worthy to hold the priesthood by texting him:

"Have fun knowing you're not worthy to hold the priesthood, Bitch."

......Which Daniel then forwarded to all of us.

- She "observed" that it was ok for her to steal money from the  non-profit organization she worked worked at before getting fired.

- She "observed" my 2 year old was a douche bag.

- She "observed" that people cannot swear around her unless she is the one doing it. Meg-face is partial to this brand of religious hypocrisy. She has even gotten kicked out by multiple roommates for trying to impose her religious will on others while she does not follow them herself. 

- She "observed" that I am an idiot for taking 7 years to get a B.A. in Social Work because she got her associates of photography in 3 years.

- At a recent wedding shower, Sir Meg-a-Lot introduced my awesome sister Sara as "the fat version of Emily" to strangers.

Feg-face is the type of person who would cry for a week if anyone made observations about her life/looks/baby. She is unbelievably self-absorbed. She cannot comprehend that an entire world exists outside of her realm.

Meg-nugget was home schooled (though she did nothing for a couple years) and has been outside of Utah 3 times. After growing up in South Salt Lake, she immediately moved to the Mormon bubble of Provo where she has lived since.
She is small-minded and has little life experience. She is queen of the double-standard.
She believes that she is smarter, better, and more spiritual than everyone else. Including you.

My siblings and I really need some wisdom and advice on how to deal with our rude, socially inept sister. I don't want problems in my fam and I don't want her to take anyone else's priesthood away.............

then again, I also would like to kick her in her vagina.

But seriously, has anyone else had to deal with a moron who insulted their child? What did you do?
How do you deal with someone who is basically the master of the universe?
And most importantly, how do deal with social rejects without punching them square in the china?

As I usually like to include things that make others smile in my posts, enjoy this video of how cute my douche bag baby was being on the airplane:


If you have any other "observations" or advice, comment or email!


Megan just sent me this via Facebook:

  • Today
  • Megan Barlocker Swenson

    That blog post makes me laugh at how mad and hurt you are at this whole thing. I'm not even mad! While it's still fresh, why don't you add in there that I mentioned that your newborn son looks like a premordial dwarf 2 years ago? I think that would make your post all the more better!
    Cute new grandson on the quilt I made him.

    Pretty judgmental from someone who looks like this:



  1. So Funny!
    She always was the weird one of your family.

  2. It's called narcissistic personality disorder. seriously, do some research on it and hope to god she is willing to get some treatment, and if not you're just gonna have to cut her out of your life because they are nasty people who fail to realize.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.