Poking Dead Things

I was doing my yearly hour of yard work yesterday. I have been working on the computer way too much and I can't stand sitting there forever. Usually I just take Baby Ryan to a park or the Boys and Girls Club to get out of the house, but my yard needed some TLC.

I don't love yardwork, but I do love making things look clean and pretty.

I was out enjoying the sun and fresh air. Cryin Ryan was stoked to roll around in the dirt. I was pulling weeds when I saw this:

Naturally, I had to poke the dead bird with a stick. Ryan joined in with his own twig.

Why is it so instinctual to poke dead animals with sticks? Why can humans just leave them alone?

It was a little gross but I continued on with my work.
45 minutes later I found this little guy:

Dead lizards aren't nearly as cute as live ones.

Yes, we poked him with our sticks.

What is the Universe trying to tell me???

Do the Roar, I love you Daddy

What is creepier?

That Pee-Baby giggles like a schoolgirl when he hears this:

 Or that I say it to him 100+ times a day?


.....Yeah, I can't decide either. 

Academic Excellence

I am pleased to announce a 4.0 GPA for last fall semester!
Yes, I realize that I go to a community college but I figure a 4.0 GPA at VCC is equal to at least a 1.7 at a normal university. So at least I've got that going for me.

A 4.0 is a privilege that I will not take lightly. I worked hard to excel. I attended a record setting 75% of my classes. I also visited all professors during their office hours pretending to be concerned about whatever the subject they taught.
One of my classes was Statistics, I do not enjoy math. That is probably why I am still in school, and why I will always be paid minimum wage (although I just discovered you don't have to be good at math to donate your eggs, which I hear can earn you the big bucks.) I think math is interesting but severe ADD prevents me from doing it for more than 8 minutes at a time. After the 8 minutes, I inevitably found myself doing one or more of the following:

-looking at stuff
-playing Mario Kart or Guitar Hero
-biting my hangnails off
-screwing off on facebook or darkroastedblend.com
-bugging Jared by placing my huge head on his shoulder and obnoxiously asking "whacha doin?"
-drawing pictures of people I hate
-drinking too much water so I can take a lot of pee breaks


My lack of self-control was pretty evident. But did I quit? No. Even though I failed the midterm, I nailed the final, ensuring my 4.0.
To make my success even better Jared told his grandparents and Dad. I got $5 from his grandparents. His dad sent out a family update email to all Jared's highly educated siblings, bragging about my groundbreaking achievement.Telling people with doctorate and Masters degrees that you nailed straight A's at a community college is like telling telling someone you were potty-trained at age 15. Anyway you say it, you sound like an idiot.

Next time I will save my bragging for pants-peeing teenagers. Or the homeless.