This is Anthony.
He sucks really bad. He was my manager when I worked at Lucky Jeans.
I used to take pride in making him cry, until I found out that crying was one of his hobbies.
I think after you read the following you will probably want to make him cry too.
1. He in a 25 year old boy who wears Capri pants with Ed Hardy slip on shoes.
Please hold your anger in. There is more. Consider the following:
2. Claimed to be Armenian but was really Mexican. Why would you lie about your heritage? Especially when your last name is Guerrero?
Answer: he sucks.
3. Complains that he hasn't had a boyfriend for 5 years. But what do you expect when your mom doesn't even like you?
4. He had a weird obsession with me, always wanting me to try on all his favorite women clothes then commenting on how if he was a girl, he would want to be me.
I told him I was confused because I already thought he was a girl.
5. When a cute customer came in I would tell Anthony to ask him out, to which Anthony replied, "Never! I'm a lady!" then I would shake my head in disgust.
6. Anthony had MAJOR power issues. He loved to schedule the staff on days they had specifically requested off, to "test" their "passion" for Lucky. I really think he didn't realize that sales people working for $10 and hour are not going to prove their love for retail....ever.
7. He has an associates degree in Musical Theater. Seriously.
8. He would put an extra quarter or dollar bill in the registers at night so he knew if we were counting the entire thing in the morning. If we claimed the registers were even, he would know we didn't count them. When I confronted him on this he claimed it happens to him too, and there is probably a ghost somewhere in our store. I told him that that was nice that the ghost wants to give me money and I would enjoy it at the vending machines. From then on he always took money out instead of putting extra in.
He would also unfold a pair of jeans to see if anyone would notice, then freak out if no one did. C-R-A-Z-Y.
9. He was extra moody around his period and never re-payed me for the tampons he used.
He was fired right before Christmas, which is awesome.
I hope none of you have an Anthony in your lives.
If you do it is probably a good idea to buy him some tampons. And remember to wash your hands if you touch anything he touched.
amen.
