My 3 Year Old Is An Idiot

I've already come to terms with the fact that a part of me will forever be an idiot.
What I can't come to terms with is the fact that my 3 year old is now part of that club.

You're probably thinking, but emily! How can a 3 year old be idiot?!
 .... Easily.

I think all of us mothers can agree that pretty much all 3 year olds are not that smart.
Sometimes I think Tyler may be slightly dumber than his peers.

I present the following arguments:

  • T-Bag was playing with a toy gun at Cabela's and hit himself in the face resulting in a dent in his forehead.

  • He stupidly picked up this dead bird with his bare hands, then picked his nose and ate his booger. That idiot probably caught some bird disease. I had to teach him how to play with dead things with a stick. 

  • I brought cupcakes to my brother Jake's house for the kids to decorate. We gave everyone candles and sang them all happy birthday, because that's how bored I was. Tyler tried to blow out his candle, got too close, and singed all his eyelashes off like a complete fool.

  • He was walking on the sidewalk, fell down, and landed on his face. Now his front tooth is all jacked up and dead.... from walking. 

He is so lucky I think he's cute and funny, otherwise I would disown him fo' sure.