Marking My Nest

Yesterday, after a long, hard stare into my knife drawer (and an encouraging text from a friend) I decided not to preform a back-alley C-section on myself.

I like to think I'm a reasonable person, and our butcher knife just wasn't as sharp as I would have preferred.

I backed away, out of the kitchen, then drove to Barnes and Noble and spent too much money.
I felt a little better.
I pulled that trick last week too. Stacks of good books and magazines calm me down.

Do you know what else helps calm my pregnancy induced mania?

Obsessively cleaning and organizing my house. Every day.

 I was never this crazy when pregnant with Cryin Ryan.

Baby #2 is making me insane.

I am constantly washing sheets and clothing because I could have the baby anytime and I really don't want to come home to dirty laundry.

My house is meticulously organized and everything is labeled because I'm 90% sure I'll have a heart attack if it's not.

Jared is scared to cook in the kitchen because I freak out if it's not perfectly clean.

Apparently I'm not as concerned with my own personal cleanliness. I walked around Target for 45 minutes with mysterious white crust on my baby bump.

I wasn't done shopping and was too lazy to wash it off, so I just left it there.

I think I need to chill out..... or have the baby asap.


Sea Cucumber

I feel like this lately:

Correction: I've felt like that for the last 8 1/2 months.

I feel disgusting.

I'm sick of carrying around Ziploc bags so I can randomly puke in them.
Plus, when you can't keep food down, you have no energy. Blah.

I feel guilty when everyone says:
"You're too skinny!"
"You need to eat something!"
"You look like you're only 5 months pregnant!"

Trust me, I'd rather gain some more weight and not be sick, but unfortunately, my body has other ideas.

I hate going to a high risk ob/gyn to make sure the baby is gaining weight. (I went a few days ago and baby #2's weight is in the 70th percentile - so at least one of us is getting the necessary nutrition).
I'm so over peeing my pants every time I throw up.
I hate having to wear tons of makeup so I don't look like a sick dog.

I hate knowing that I will hopefully be able to do it again in a couple years because babies are the best thing ever.

Poor me.
I'm such a wuss.

Ok. I'm done whining.... for the next 10 minutes.

P.S. Only 3 weeks till my due date!!!!! I had Ryan 1 week early so everyone send good thoughts my way so this one comes early too!


Toilet Realizations

Cryin Ryan has NO interest in potty training.
He tells me, "no thanks mom, no thanks."

I can't blame him. I'm not that excited about it either.

The only sign of bodily function awareness came at Christmastime when a worried Ryan ran up to me and questioned:

"Momma! I toot by my penis?!?!"

Yes Ryan. You toot by your penis.
This realization seemed like an important milestone, so I noted it in his baby book.

I had lofty goals of potty training him before baby #2 comes.

I bought one of those kid seats that fit on top on an adult toilet. I really didn't want to be cleaning out one of those nasty potty chairs all the time.

What I didn't prepare for was Ryan's complete disgust with the toilet.

His whole life I have drilled it into his head that "we don't touch or play in the toilet, it's gross". In hindsight, maybe I should have been a little less extreme, because now he is too grossed out to use it.

I was forced to buy one of those dumb child-size potty chairs.

Our only dollop of success

Ryan was more open to sitting on a toilet his own size, but still preferred squatting in a corner and dumping in his diaper.

After an honest conversation with myself, I gave up.
Fighting a toddler to poop in his potty chair is no fun when I am throwing up in the toilet next to him. The disgustingness outweighs any convenience.

I was surprised a few days ago to learn that Pee-toddler was, again, more aware of his body than I assumed.

He brought me a diaper and disgustedly told me:
"Moooomm! Ryan poo shapes out his butt. Eeeww, yuck!!!!!"

Once again, I duly noted it in his baby book.


Sink Excitment

I think I'm in loovvveeee.

For the most part, Jared has finished the kitchen. There are little things to complete here and there but it is usable and much prettier than before.

One of the things I'm especially giddy about is our sink.

It is beautiful.... over-priced, but beautiful.


I didn't want a metal sink because I feel like they always have water spots everywhere.

I can't co-exist with water spots.

I insisted we buy a white one.

It's huge, cast iron, apron-front, under-mounted, and doesn't judge me when I stay in my pajamas until 4pm.

If you have never had the pleasure of washing dishes in a huge sink, you are totally invited to come to my house and try it out.

When baby #2 comes, I plan on bathing him in the sink and washing dishes at the same time. It is going to be amazing.......

(I just realized that what qualifies as "amazing" in my life is extremely sad.)


Pregnancy Make Me Dumb

Me so dumb.

I can't even remember to wear a slip with this dress.

 I am due March 14. I think that means only 3, 4, or 5 weeks left..... I forget and can't count anyway.


So dumb, I can't even finish post.


Questionable Get Well Gift

6 years ago we bought the house across the street from Jared's grandma.
She is amazing, smart, funny, independent, and the only relative we have that I would live so close to.
Pee-toddler LOVES her.
She is so good to him. My whole family lives in Utah so I'm glad he has a grandma close by to spoil him.
She was not feeling well last week so I helped Ryan make her a Get Well present.

I don't know if play-dough monsters made by 2 year olds are clinically proven to promote well being, but we made it anyway.
The results were questionable at best, but it made grandma smile so I consider it successful.
We recently make some glitter slime stuff too. I'm sure Ryan is stoked that in between watching me throw-up, lie face down on the floor, and curse pregnancy, he gets to do sensory activities from Pinterest.

 What an angelic smile...



I used to tease my little sisters that their prepubescent bodies looked like Jellybeans. They all had pot-bellies and ample apple bottoms.

I even drew pictures to illustrate my point.

Funny, right?

Well, it would be funny if I didn't look EXACTLY like that right now.
My favorite brother, Jake, confirmed it by calling me "Jellybean Emily" on Christmas day.

Thanks a lot "Jerk-off Jake".