Titty Twisters

The Boys and Girls Club after school program is not a free for all daycare center. The kids actually have planned activities and supplemental instruction every day.

Each week the different grades are assigned different "enrichment activities". The first graders are doing a program called
We were discussing the importance of peace and how our actions can increase or decrease it.
A sample discussion from Monday:

What are things we do that decrease the peace?

Kid 1:
pushing other people.

Yes, what else?

Kid 2:
not sharing

Kid 3: hitting other people

Awesome Kid:
giving girls titty twisters

Wait..... what?

Awesome Kid: titty twisters?

Awesome kid had a serious look on his face. He was not joking around. I looked over at my aide as we both started laughing. I was so proud that 6 year old kids were catching onto to the idea. With tears in my eyes I replied:

Yeah, titty twisters definitely decrease the peace.

Then I made them color because I couldn't stop giggling.


The Sound Machine

This is one of the best things ever.

Marpac Sound Conditioner SleepMate 580A Sound Machine.

It provides white noise while you sleep and it is awesome. All the annoying things that wake you up are masked by the sound.

  • Jared's sporadic snoring
  • Jared waking up at 5:15 am every day
  • Chirping Birds
  • etc.

It is a little bit like crack. I am so addicted to this thing. I take it with me on every trip. I feel so alone and scared without it.

I expect to find this especially useful once I have kids. amen.


Employment is Overrated

I chose the Boys and Girls Club.
Big Surprise.

I cant get enough of Jared so I obviously chose the schedule that would accommodate the most make-out sessions.
AND I get to wear awful staff t-shirts to work everyday! I can still wear jeans and flip flops..... a fair exchange.

After work I have to come home and disinfect myself because there is kid all over me. ew. Kids are gross.

I have a even more respect for elementary teachers now.

(I don't know who's kid this is, but she's nasty)

But overall, a pretty awesome job.


Decisions with an 8-ball

After halfheartedly searching for a job the last few weeks, some offers finally came in. I had a very strict list of requirements that had to be met before I resigned from being a stay-at-home wife.
  • I must be able to wear my normal clothes......I hate uniforms
  • My supervisor must not be a power tripping 20-something year old
  • I have to be able to use the job as a "paid internship" for my last class this semester, there is now way I'm volunteering when I can get paid
  • Schedules must be flexible
  • The work itself must help the community so I can earn karma points (while getting paid)
I was offered a job at Casa Pacifica as a youth behavioral therapist (fancy title!) It is a group home for severely abused and neglected kids. As the Mecca for Social Work graduates, it is notoriously hard to get hired. Most of these kids have huge issues. In the interview the dude asked me if I minded getting punched or kicked in the face.... I replied that that was one of my favorite past times.

The next day I was offered the job. I'm sure that the guy could tell that I could totally take a kick in the face from a 14 year old.
I was stoked about this job and couldn't wait to brag to my class that I would be getting paid for my internship.

A few days later The Boys and Girls Club called me. I interviewed with them about a month ago and hadn't heard anything back. They offered me a job as an after school program coordinator.

Now I'm in a bind. Which one should I accept?

Casa Pacifica



7 min from home

By the beach

Help kids

Cool Supervisor

Fancy title

Good experience

Can use for Intership


24-hour fitness gym pass

Get kicked in face

Crazy hours – have to work until 10pm every night

Will only see Jared on Sunday and Monday night

Have to witness effects of child abuse without hunting the perpetrator down and breaking their kneecaps.

Boys and Girls Club



Help Kids

Will learn more Spanish

Better pay

Can use for internship

Plan all activities

Use lessons plans to teach kids that drugs and gang banging are bad, mmmmkay.

No kicks to the face

Awesome hours

Can see Jared every night

Supervisor looks like Telemundo Soap Opera Star

25 min from home

Doesn’t look as good on Resume

Have to wear a club t-shirt

I bet this guy has some good advice.