Pee-Toddler loves clocks.
He can only say 10-15 words and clock is one of them. 
He spots them everywhere. If there is one hiding in the corner at a store he goes nuts and yells, CLOCK! CLOCK! CLOCK! about 15 times until everyone is looking at us and wondering if Ryan has mental problems. 
He points them out if we pass them on the street. 
He gets more excited about clocks than he does about Baby Finley. That's serious.

I have to chalk his obsession with clocks up to Jared's grandparents, who live across the street from us.
Jared's awesome Grandpa, Jim, was one of my most favorite people ever. 
He passed away a few years ago. He was an avid antique clock lover. 
He had an entire workshop devoted to fixing clocks. He collected them and put the especially old and cool ones all over his house.  

When you walked into his house, you would hear the ticking of over 30 clocks. 
It sounds lame but it became one of the most comforting sounds. 
We spent a lot of time over there. 

Since Ryan was born, we have gone across the street the visit Jared's grandma a few times every week. The clocks are still hanging all over the house. 

I never thought to point out any of the clocks to Cryin' Ryan. 
We never talked to him about them or tried to get him to say "Clock". 
I don't know how he learned it or why he is so obsessed with them. 

I like to think that before Ryan was born, he was an angel hanging out with Grandpa Jim. Jim would have for sure showed Ryan all there is to know about clocks.....Yeah, I'm going to go with that.


Innocent Bruises

There is nothing that makes my blood boil more than child abuse. I have worked with severely abused kids before and am glad when I take my awesome baby to the doctor that they take the time to ask questions about my child's health and appearance.

But, as all mom's know, some questions make you get a little defensive, especially if you know you are the best mom ever.

For some reason, every time Cryin Ryan has a doctor's appointment he makes sure to get bruised and scratched as much as possible.

I dread walking into the Doctor's office when my baby has bruises all over his little body.
Medical personnel stare at me skeptically and demand to know how he got each bruise.

They ask:
"Why does he have 4 different bruises on his forehead alone?"

I explain:
"His head is so huge in comparison to his body that it's easy for him to lose his balance. It's especially bad when it's windy......"

Why are his legs Scraped up? 

"Between you and me, I think he tripped outside on purpose because I just bought these cool Toy Story Band-Aids."

Why are does he have this bruise on his thigh?

"5 words - Yo Gabba Gabba Dancey Dance."

Why is his other leg all bruised up?

"I swear I don't abuse my child."

This is when they look at me with one eyebrow raised and  then furiously scribble something down in Ryan's medical file.

Then I hurry home and clean up before Child Protective Services gets there.


Onesie Snaps

If you have a baby, you will know exactly what I am taking about when I say how much I HATE snaps on baby clothing.

I swear I have opened and closed more than 3432534259874398270 snaps since Ryan has been born.

Newborns are the WORST.
Every time they poop, which is every 10 minutes, you have to redo the snaps.
They go through 5-100 outfits a day and each time you have to redo the snaps. 
They sneeze, you have to redo the snaps

Babies also usually wear more than one layer, so each time you change their pants you have to do 2-3 layers of the wretched snaps.

With hate in my heart, I decided to only snap the middle button.
This led to the onsie slipping to the side, squishing the diaper, and caused pee to leak everywhere. 
I had to revert to doing all the snaps since I don't like pee stamps all over my house. 

I loved the baby bundlers. In the middle of the night, the last thing you want to be doing is snapping crap up.

I assume that if you have a baby girl, you save a ton of time because dresses don't have snaps.

Why don't they make more masculine dresses in Cryin' Ryan's size??? 

 This just doesn't look right:

One day, Ryan is going to kill me.


Eye Rock

I was doing my yearly hour of yard work when I found a bunch of cool rocks.  

I hyperventilate if I throw anything away that can be used for a lame craft so I kept my ziploc bag of rocks. 

Then I thought of something equally lame and cool.

For the Boys and Girls Club Smartgirls Program I made this whole lesson about why it's important to have self esteem. 

Part of our session included passing a rock around. Whoever had the rock had to say one good thing about themselves and one good thing about the person they passed the rock onto. 

One of the little girls could not think of something positive to say about herself. The whole group waited silently for about 2-3 min. My heart was breaking for her. I wanted to start telling her all the good things I think about her but I didn't because I wanted her to be able to come up with good things on her own.

We kept waiting....

Then my sweet little minions started calling out all these different compliments about the little sad little girl. My heart almost fell out my butt. I was so touched that young girls noticed she needed help and made her feel special. 

The sad little girl then repeated on of the compliments the minions had pointed out and passed the rock on. 

Afterwards I gave the girls rocks to paint. I showed them how to paint an eye on them.

This is where my genius comes in....... 
Everytime the girls see the rock they are supposed to think "I Rock!"

Eye Rock = "I Rock"

Get it!?!?!?
I sometimes can't believe how clever I am.   

Then, to make my idea even more novel, I told the girls that every time they see the rock and think "I Rock" they also have to think 1 good thing about themselves!!!

It's painful to be so lame.


My Dirty Sanchez

Pregnancy messes up your body.
Besides the fact that I pee a little every time I go to the trampoline park, I have another embarrassing problem.

Have you heard of "pregnancy mask" or Melasma?

Melasma is a dark skin discoloration that appears on sun-exposed areas of the face.

It is basically the cherry on the top of the sundae that is pregnancy. 

Luckily my misfortune is not as extreme as these cases.

Towards the end of my captivity, I had a healthy helping of freckles all over my mug.  Everywhere the sun hit may face was noticeably darker than everywhere else.

Over 1 and 1/2 years later most of the discoloration faded away but I was left with a mustache of darker skin above my lips.
I can kind of cover it up with makeup but in my heart, I know I still have a dirty sanchez.

You can totally see it in this picture:

I don't want to talk about this anymore. amen.


How To Scam A Scammer - Part III

Read Part I and Part II.

Rey-Nardo sent the $1950 check overnight and emailed her:

Sara, let me know once you deposit the check

 Sara and I had already given his crappy check to the bank. The bank had their fraud team on it and they also made a police report. 
Unable to leave well enough alone, Sara and I set out to waste as much of Nardo's time as possible.

We decided to start with this:

Hey Mr Carriere,
 So I got the check but I haven't deposited it yet because I feel a little bad about taking money that I haven't earned yet. Is it ok with you if I just forward the check to your agent and he can buy the tickets and then just save the $500 until my first paycheck?
I can't wait to meet you and your daughter! Tell her I love movies and am super excited to get to know her better!
Just let me know about the check. Thanks:)

 Within the hour Reynaldo reprimanded: 

I understand, but we talked about this before i had them to process the check to you. My agent won't be able to handle the check because she is busy and her name is not on the check. 
Can't i trust you with the money?

We knew he was getting mad. I like how he sent Sara a check for $1950 to cash, then wanted her to send the cash to his agent to buy plane tickets for his daughter...... but at the same time his agent was too busy to handle the check. 

A day later Sara and I emailed back. We were trying to get him to send another check via USPS so he would have to waste another $18.

I know we talked about it but I just don't feel good about taking money from you, I really appreciate it, but I would hate for us to meet and not be a good fit for each other, like if I am not what you are looking for for Jane or if we have different ideas on how a child should be raised and you decide you want someone else. I understand that your agent is busy, so could you just write me a check minus the $500 for me and then I can deposit it and get it to your agent? I just honestly don't feel good about taking the money until we've met and I've worked.
And can you ask your daughter what her favorite movie is?
Can't wait to meet you guys! Hope you have fun with the rest of your time in London!

 He resends one of his previous emails: 

sara, let me know once you deposit the check

 We knew asking him to send us a check from his personal account would not impress Mr. Carriere. So we did:

 I'm so sorry that I delayed things for you. I went to the bank today to deposit it but they said that it wouldn't go through.. But maybe if you want to try to send me a check from your personal account, then that would work. I can deposit it the minute I get it and then send your agent the money. I know we need to get this done as fast as we can so would that work?

No Reply.
He was obviously skeptical of Sara's intentions after that last email. After 3 more days of him not replying, we pulled a hail Mary pass and sent him this:

Hey so you weren't getting back to me and I know how bad you need the money right now, so I went to my sisters bank and used her account and I have everything cashed and ready for your agent to pick up, just tell me what to do.

Still No Reply. The next day we write:

Mr. Carriere? I'm just waiting for what you'd like me to do. 

It worked, within 2 hours he wrote:

Have you transferred my daughter's flight fee with western union? 

1 day later we gave an ominous answer:


Mr. Scam-pants immediately emails back:

You haven't given me the transaction details yet. Get back to me with the MTCN NUMBER, AMOUNT SENT AND THE SENDER'S NAME. You can find the mtcn on the western union receipt.

Hours later, I made up an MTCN number and sent it to him.

MTCN: 0009523687
Amount Sent: $1450.00
And I just sent it under my name. 
Let me know if you need anything else. Sorry this took so long. :)

Reynaldo was pissed:

My agent said the mtcn is incorrect, I hope you are not trying to play smart

I can guarantee you, the last thing we were trying to do was play smart:

That's the number. I just double checked. I thought we talked about this Reynaldo?

 Mr. Carriere was NOT amused:

About what? The number is wrong and you didn't send the money to my agent. Why ? 
Clearly, Reynaldo is sufficiently pissed off by this point. But I am a reasonable girl so I told him why:

I'm am so sorry that I gave you the wrong number, it's just that I usually don't wire money to idiots. I can't believe you think people are actually going to fall for your stupid scam. I'm surprised you can even read. I bet your mother is very disappointed in you
My friends and I have been having a good time messing with you. I hope you are not too mad about the $18 you had to pay to send that crappy check out to Utah. I promptly handed it over to the police along with all the other information I have on you.

It must suck to be bad at the easiest job in the world.... internet scamming. 

Hopefully you will think of a better scam than this one, because you obviously have no future in the real world. 
Thanks for the laughs! 

Strangely he never replied back....

Check out justcare.com, it's for sale!!!! I assume the whole site was created just for ripping people off. Now that he is scared he'll get caught, he's shutting everything down

What a Nardo. 

P.S. If you would like to send your own message to Mr. Carriere, 
his email is: rycarriere@icox.in


How To Piss Off A Scammer - Part II

First, read How To Piss Off A Scammer - Part I.

My little sis replied to Reynaldo's last email:

Thank you so so so much!! I will not let you down! Ahh!! I'm so excited right now! She is adorable! Her eyes are beautiful! I absolutely promise to love her and care for her. I promise I won't let you down:) I cannot wait to meet you guys! Oh, by the way, my parents would like to set up a meeting time for all five of us before I start just for safety reasons. I'm sure you can understand that. So let me know when is good for you and we can go to lunch or something:) Thank you so much Mr. Carriere!! 

Sara Barlocker

12437 S. Mayan Street

Riverton Ut 84096

801-608-7876 (If you could email me your number and I'll put it on my plan, or else I cant receive your calls and I can't call you)


I can work anytime you need me. Set hours would be helpful but Jane comes first now. (I will be taking classes in the fall, but those are flexible)

The first picture is of me and my niece, Brooke, and nephew, Aiden. Both are about 3 1/2 years old, so pretty close to Jane's age:) Then the second is of me and my other nephew, Ryan, he's about 2. Then the last is a more recent picture.

So if you could just email me your number then that would be great and we will be able to communicate better. I literally cannot wait to meet you two!! Thank you so much for this chance! Again, I think it's more for me than for you. I'll be waitin!


Clearly Sara is about to pee herself with excitement. I would be too if I was about to get paid a ton for an easy job.

This is where it starts to get really juicy....
My sister's friend, Alicia, had heard about Sara's awesome new job. Sara referred her to justcare.com.
Coincidentally, Alicia got a job too!!!!! With the exact same Mr. Reynaldo Carriere!!!!

Confused, Sara emails Rey-Rey:

Hey so I was talking to my friend, Alicia, and she said that you emailed her and told her that she got the job as well. So we were just wondering what was going on?

Father of the Year cunningly replies:

Yes, because I'm also looking for a housekeeper. I'm hiring Alica for housekeeper. I got your last email, I will email you the payment details and other necessary details as soon as they are available. 

Relived, Sara writes:

Ok awesome. I was just really confused haha so your business is going to email me a check within the next couple of weeks? And then could me, you, Sarah, and my parents and maybe even Alicia could go to lunch or something like that?

The Scammer comes back with:

Sure, We will all meet when i get back to the state and i will email you the payment details probably next week 

3 days later Sara makes contact: 

Hi Mr Carriere!
How are you and Sarah doing? Getting excited to come back or are you sad to leave?

Being a "successful man on a business trip to London", he is not one to waste time with polite conversation. A couple days later Mr. Carriere sends Sara a check via USPS express mail. Supposedly, this was to be an advanced payment for being hired. It costs about $18 to send this overnight. 
 Sara emails:

Hey, I just got the check today. So what do you want me to do with it?

At this point I had arrived in Utah for my Christmas vacation. 
Sara let me see the check.
Scam-pants sent instructions:

Okay, I text you yesterday but you didn't reply. Anyways, I will like you to know that the check you received include your first week advance pay $500 and the rest funds are meant for my agent that will be taking care of my daughter's flight. I will like you to go ahead and have it deposit into your bank account, the funds will be credited in your account within 24hours!! Save the funds in your account, I will email you on what to do with the extra money as soon as i hear from my agent. Let me know as soon as the check is deposited

Jane told me to say HI to you and ask how are you doing? :)


A $500 advance for a nanny job?! Sounds legit. 
It also makes sense that a wealthy business man needs Sara to send money to his agent for his daughters flight. Buying plane tickets online with your  own credit card is for suckers. Rich people have their nanny's cash checks and send the money to a middle man.
The check was written out for $1950.00 
He wanted Sara to keep $500 and send the remaining $1450 via Western Union to his agent.
The check was sent from Virginia, supposedly from his "agent" as he is too busy with work to get involved with trivial things such as money. 
The check look legitimate, but I can tell something is slightly off. It was from some company in the mid-west where his "agent" is located.

 My Dad takes us to his bank and shows them the check. We give a brief history of the emails and without thinking twice the bank knew it was B.S. 
The bank took the check and sent it to their fraud department and the police. 
If Sara would have cashed it and sent the money, the bank would eventually find that the check was from a fake account and then she would owe the bank $1950. Mr. Carriere would be long gone skipping off with his $1450.
Sara knew the likleyhood of her job being a scam and was a little bummed out. To make her feel better, I suggested that we have some fun with Mr. Carriere. 
Nothing pisses off scammers more than wasting their time and resources. He had already wasted a carefully forged check, a lot of time writing emails, and $18 to USPS. 

Sara and I put our devious minds together pissed off Mr. Carriere in the best way possible.....

Part III soon :)


How To Piss Off A Scammer - Part I

The following post is a great example of what I live for. Messing with dumb people who deserved to be messed with. 
When my soul is hungry, this is the kind of stuff I feed on.

In early December, my little sister Sara updated her status on Facebook:


Sara is a whiter, poop colored hair version of me. 
FYI: I am totally the prettier one.

I was all like  "No friekin way!"
But then I was like "Why is an inexperienced 18 year old getting so much money to watch a kid?" 
It Sounded a little weird, but I was glad the perpetually jobless Sara had decided to work.  

She used justcare.com to look for a nanny job in Salt Lake City. Sara saw this ad:
Family looking for Nanny/Housekeeper (Salt Lake City, UT)

She sent the following email along with her resume:

Hi my name is Sara Barlocker, I am 18 years old, will be 19 in March. I am currently attending Utah State University in Logan but am planning to move back to Salt Lake into my own apartment in December. So if you can spare a nanny until then, I am your perfect girl. I nannied 3 children two summers ago, a 13 year old boy, a 9 year old girl and a 4 year old boy and I absolutely loved it. Before then I was never much one for kids and I was mostly just doing it as a favor to the mom but during those three months I fell in love with those kids. I am a person who loves people. Hence my major in Anthropology. I want to spend my life doing what I can to influence people for the better and do my best to serve and learn from them. And I think children is one of the best ways to do that.
I am crazy fun. I know how to have a good time and be silly and what the kids will like because it's probably what I will like as well. But growing up in a family of 7 children, I also know how to be serious and authoritative and get things done. I don't have any bad habits such as swearing or smoking or anything so you don't have to worry about your kids picking things up from me. I am completely honest. Probably a little too honest at times but I figure better that than lying. 
There is a lot more to me but I would love a chance to come in and talk to you face to face about my skills and qualifications. You can email me back for contact. I would give you my number but my phone is weird and won't take calls from unrecognized numbers. But I check my email everyday so its reliable. Thank you for your time.

-Sara Barlocker

The guy replies:

I got your email for the nanny position, here is a lil about me.. My name is Reynaldo, my wife died nine months ago of breast cancer. I don't wanna talk about this but i think it is important since you would be working as Jane's nanny. Jane will be 4 years old next month. I am out of the state based on my auditing business that is really booming here in London and my girl will be arriving shortly back to the state precisely on the 28th of December, Jane is here with me right now for holiday.

After a serious discussion with my father-in-law concerning a proper care for my girl, we finally decided to search for a good and responsible Nanny. If you are a student you can go for your classes and report to Sarah as soon as you are done with classes. The monthly pay is $2200.00 for live out and $2000.00 for live in. We will be responsible for your transportation which in exclusive of your weekly salary regardless of the distance. You will be working with my sister and also a housekeeper for a while before i fully arrive back to the state.

We are strongly searching for someone of well mannered attitudes, neatness and good sense of relationship. We are a Christian family and we love our religion so basically everything we do is according to our doctrines, I don't mind your religion, but just letting you know so we don't offend you. If you are interested in this offer, please answer all the questions below so i can have a brief idea of you.

1) What academic qualifications do you possess?
2) Do you have any relevant certificate to back up your babysitting/nanny career?

3) How old are you?
4) Are you married?
5) Do you have a valid bank account?

6) Tell us more about your temperament ..
7) Can you handle money if you are given an assignment to carry out?
8) Is your husband/girlfriend/parent in support of you doing this job?

9) Which city are you located in?
10) How would you spend a time with my daughter though out a day? "Monday-Friday, 12noon-5:30pm"

11) What kind of activities would you plan for her?

Let me know if you will be available for the work offer and if you have any questions as regards this offer, feel free to get in touch with me. I await a response at your earliest convenience and also let me know if the hours are not okay by you..

Reynaldo Carriere

Good Questions Reynaldo, If I were hiring a nanny, whether they had a valid bank account (question #8) would be of utmost importance. There is no way someone without a valid bank account would be watching my kid... people without valid bank accounts are trouble!
Mistake #1 Reynaldo. 

I also liked how he threw in the whole "Christian" claim. I completely trust anyone who says they are Christian.... especially random people I meet on the internet.

I had not read the actual emails Reynaldo at this point in time. I only had read the Facebook update and heard vaugue details about the job.
Still, with the limited information I had, I was instantly skeptical. I told my dad to check this dude out before my sister, Sara committed to anything. I was 78% confidant that this dude was either a serial killer/rapist or an internet scammer.
No one pays an 18 year old with little experience $22/hour. 
(Approx. 25 hours per week x 4 weeks = 100 hours per month / $2200 per month = $22 per hour)

As any 18 year old would, Sara took the bait and excitedly replied:

Mr. Carriere,
First of all, I'm really happy to hear back from you, and I honestly think, hearing your discription, I will be an awesome fit for you. I'm not even just saying that. But I'll be happy to answer your questions so that you can decide that for yourself.
1) I graduated from Paradigm High School this past June and that school changed my life. It is a small charter school in South Jordan that focus' on teaching it's students how to think not what to think. Because of the Liberal Arts cirriculum and because all of the 'textbooks' we used were classics, I now have a love of learning new things and am able to recognize and learn from anything, not just lectures or boring textbooks. I look at life as a learning experience and love it. As of right now, I am attending Utah State University with an undecided major between Public Anthropology and Journalism. This is my first semester but it's almost over (thank heavens haha) I am moving back to Salt Lake in about a week or so because right now, my parents are paying for school but I want to grow up and mature and pay for it myself. So once I can afford it I will be right back in school attending the U.
2) I don't have any certificates but I do know how to do the heimlich and I did nanny 2 summers ago for 3 children. Not to mention 5 years of random weekend babysitting gigs. But if that is something you feel strongly about then I could definitely take a class and get those for you and Sarah.
3) I am 18 years old. I will be 19 in March. But don't be deceived, I have the maturity, care and drive of a 25 year old with the fun of an 18 year old. Pretty nice mix if you ask me.
4) I am not married.
5) I do have a valid bank account. 
6) Being the youngest of 7 children, I got my fair share of bullying and buttons pressed. I was always the one who would get beaten up and picked on. But because of that I am one of the most calm and passive people you will ever meet. My sister, Rachel, who is right above me was diagnosed Bipolar about a year or two ago. But before we were able to get her medication, she would randomly come up to be and punch me in the face or start yelling at me and call me worthless but I didn't do anything back ever because I knew it wouldn't make anything better. I am very very good at keeping it cool. I almost never get mad. The only time I get really upset is if people mess with the ones I care about. I am super easy-going and the best way I deal with being stressed or upset is just finding the funny side of it and laughing about it.
7) My family used to own a Hogi Yogi in 2006 and I would work there as the person who would take the orders and man the cash register and drive-thru. Even being only 12 at the time, I was able to handle the money and be efficient at it without any trouble at all. I am very honest and trust-worthy. I see no benefit in being a scumbag.
8) My parents are supportive of the fact that I want to be completely independent and do things on my own, and since that involves getting a job, I'd say yes. They are very supportive. They are the ones that actually reccomended applying for a nanny position because I am super fun and love to play just like kids haha and also because I am very easily looked up to (if I be so bold) and am very good at leading without pushing.
9) When I move back to Salt Lake I will be living right on the boarder in Riverton/South Jordan. But as soon as I can I would like to rent an apartment closer to downtown Salt Lake.
10/11) I was homeschooled by my mom from kindergarten up until 9th grade and she was a pro at keeping us entertained and progressive. I would do my best to be for your daughter what my mom was for me. I think that Sarah's age is a very developmental one and she will need constant stimulation and fun-learning experiences. There is no way that I would just let her sit home and do nothing all day but watch tv and be lazy. Maybe once in a while, but we already have enough people in the world who are lazy. I would love to take her downtown and show her how life is. How people are and how the world works (in a way a 4 year old would understand). I would take her to places like Clark's Planitarium to learn about space, I would absolutely love to take her (if you would allow it) to The Road Home in downtown Salt Lake, which is a homeless shelter for families, so that she could meet and observe and play with kids who are her age but from a different background and in a totally different circumstance. I would help her with her homework and have her help me with cleaning and cooking so that she could learn and of course with no doubt have fun through all of this. There is no way I don't have fun when I am doing things. I believe in fun in all things. There is no reason anything should be boring. This is life afterall. The funnest, most amazing gift we are given. Why not have fun with it?
I hope I answered all of your questions. Again, thank you so much for responding! I would love to hear back from you and maybe set up a time where I can meet you and Sarah? I am very greatful and pumped for this chance at getting to know you, your daughter and your family. I think this may be more for me than it is for you or Sarah. I thank you once again.

-Sara Barlocker

P.S- I am really sorry to hear about your wife. I pray you and your family are doing well.

Douche Mr. Carriere emails back:

I got your email with the answers to my questions, I did appreciate it. It has helped me to make a decision. Please i want to understand that my daughter is still a little girl and she deserves all the care and love from you. I will be paying you for the first week before we arrive. My company will pay you by check, they are paying because they have agreed to be in charge after the death of my wife.

The payment will be in excess, cos the check will include your advance payment and my traveling ticket fare. When you get the check you will deduct your money out and keep the rest for my agent, so he could arrange for I and Jane's arrival. I want you to send me your full names and full detailed address so they can send the payment this week, because I and my daughter will be arriving on the 28th of December and you will start work on the 31st of December!

I am very happy that i found you and i want you to promise me that you will look after Jane and take her as your own girl too. I really appreciate your help. A picture of you would be nice,so i can show it to my daughter, i just hope she wont wrap you up..lol :) I attached Jane's pictures to this email. She enjoys listening to music, looking at books, watching DVDs, swinging outside, bike riding, shopping, going for walks, swimming, and playing on the computer. I'll get the address of my new home and give you all details after speaking with my agent.. For now, please confirm to me if you accept my offer to cater for my lovely girl. Please feel free to provide your following details for documentation and information for my company to send the check to you.

Full Name:
Current Address, City, State,Zip Code:
Phone Number:

Days/Hours Available
Monday: _______ to ______?

Tuesday: ______ to ______?
Wednesday: _______ to ______?
Thursday: _______ to ______?
Friday: _______to ______?
Saturday: _______ to ______?
Sunday: _____ to _____?
Best time to call: ______ to ______?

Also tell me how you want to fit in !!


Reynaldo sounds like a lovely father!!! 
He must really need a nanny because he wanted to hire my sis before she had even met him. 
Who needs to meet the person who will be taking care of your child? Not Reynaldo! As long as that person has a valid bank account, they are trustworthy!!!!!

This is a super long and awesome story so part II and III will be coming as soon I feel like it.