A couple of years ago I had to get glasses. Now I squint when I forget to put my contacts in. I order the early bird special at Yolanda's. I have some wrinkles. My boobs are not where they used to be. I used to love Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe but now they make me gag. I totally get constipated and drink prune juice. I am in bed by 9:30. I enjoy Jeopardy. I watch it with Jared's grandma. I listen to Talk Radio. I use Costco coupons religiously. I have poor bladder control. I have a kid. I bet I smell weird.