7.15.2009

Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit

Sometimes I may be grumpy in the morning. I am usually sweeter than peaches and cream, but this is only after a full nights rest. Every morning sweet dreams fill my head. They usually consist of strangling the chirping birds and smashing their eggs for waking me up.

Being married to someone who loves to see the sunrise has been somewhat problematic during our last four years together. Not only does Jared love the early mornings, he loves to be especially annoying. He is super cheerful and energetic from the hours of 5 am to 9 am. Because I am not, when he is bored at church Jared usually draws pictures like these:
I am often bribed by the promise of french toast, omelets and homemade coffee cake to get up early and keep him company. I usually turn the bribes down, but not last Saturday.

Jared's Grandparents live up the hill from us. We eat out every once and a while with them and this morning was extra enticing. Grandpa Jim called Jared and asked if he wanted to come to McDonald's to get some breakfast. You all know how much Jared and I love free stuff, so Jared jumped at the chance for some grossly unhealthy breakfast food. While I was sleeping, Jared woke me up to ask if I wanted anything from the greasy eating establishment. I told him I would defiantly wake up for a Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit. He drove off and I went back to sleep with thoughts of re-heated bacon and cheese grease clogging up my arteries. By the time Jared was home I had drooled all over myself.
That's when the bad news came. Jared had only brought home a Sausage McMuffin. This nasty little sandwich looked like it was as old as I am. It was floppy and luke-warm.

I have never been so disappointed in my life.

I was like Christmas morning came and all I got was a floppy sandwich. I felt like punching something. So I looked the McMuffin square in the muff and punched it against the counter. I went to the cupboard to get something else to eat. All I found was nasty granola and flax seed cereal. How am I supposed to satiate my need for pure fat and grease with Kashi health food?
I was so angry that I had woken up for nothing. As I continued stomping around the house and giving dirty looks to all the healthy food, my favorite brother Jake called.

His wife was in labor! Yay! I could not wait for him to be a dad. His child rearing style is going to be more entertaining than Lethal Weapon II.
After this good news I was nice and sweet again. I sincerely apologized to the McMuffin for the punch, laid it to rest in the trash can, and happily ate a bowl of mint cookie ice cream instead.

Amen.

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