Jared is not Cryin Ryan's real Dad.....
My friend Marianne is.
Jared did not appreciate my honesty when I revealed this to him. I should have gone on the Jerry Springer show.
Why does my baby look more like my friend than like me?
Probably because she has ninja sperm.
Probably because she has ninja sperm.
Marianne is one of my best friends. We have known each other for 10 years. We have been friends for 9 1/2 of those 10 years. (We got in a fight cause I ditched her, then, when I needed a ride to the University of Utah I said I was sorry and we made up.)
She lives in Nebraska and works for some company that makes her travel a lot. She tricked them into giving her Southern California as part of her territory.
Essentially, her company pays her to come visit me.
Essentially, her company pays her to come visit me.
She sings like Joss Stone, only better. Her voice is like a Black girl trapped in an extremely white person's body. She's got soul and a ghetto booty to show for it.
Last Thursday she showed up to my house with a stained chotch.
She dropped a piece of chocolate in her car and it melted onto her privates.
This is pretty typical Marianne behavior. Which is why we are friends.
Ryan is such a perv. amen.
