12.17.2015

Gross Things I Did In Hawaii


I openly admit to my daily disgusting-ness.
But every time I travel I am reminded of how foul I really am.

Last week's trip to Hawaii with my parents facilitated my nastiest behavior yet.


  • I forgot the kid's toothbrush and kept forgetting to buy one, so the kids and I shared one the entire time. 
  • Swam in the ocean and let the water make my hair crusty. I didn't want to use cheap hotel shampoo so I just left it crusty till I found my Sephora stash.




  • I wore the same sweaty, filthy shorts for 4 days.
  • Tyler puked on me in the plane so I wiped what I could off with a blanket, and marinated in his rotten-milk vomit for the remaining 6 hours of our flight. He also exploaded all over Ryan's face and shirt.
  • Accidentally used the same washcloth on my face that I previously used to wipe down the tub.
  • Ate sand covered starburst because it was $4 to buy more.
  • Went to the beach, I was sweaty and sandy, didn't shower because I wanted to read a book instead, then went to dinner looking like a churro.


  • Ate beef jerky that had been baking in the rental car for days.
  • Listened to Air Supply and Kurt Bestor while driving with my Dad to the Volcano.
  • Snorkeled with nasty Manta Rays in the ocean AT NIGHT. Those things are freaking creepy. They have tentacle arm things at the front of their slimy bodies. I'm scared of open water anyway and couldn't stop thinking about all the freaky animals that come out in the ocean at night. Luckily Jared and my Dad came to protect me. 


  • Let my boys wear these matching outfits to a Luau:



  • Fooled around with Husband in the bushes behind the time share sales building. 
  • Ate a disturbing amount of the best ice cream I have ever tasted at Tropical Dreams. 







  • Walked on the condo carpet with my bare feet. 



Gross. 




5 comments:

  1. Went to dinner looking like a churro? That's so funny. Sand is all sorts of annoying. I went to the beach and was too lazy to shower when I got home, but I had a massage scheduled for later that night. So I went anyway, and just let my masseur rub all the sand off, I considered it an exfoliant. This is why we are friends. I'm gross too.

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  2. You have seriously taken gross to the limit but I admire your candidness. I really blame it on the kids. Nothing is sacred once they puke or pee on you.

    Happy Holidays.

    Jane x

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  3. Ryan looks so sad in his spiffy island garb. What you call gross I call relaxed! Sounds like a great trip!

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  4. People don't realize the amount of gross in those bathrooms. :6 ..... We used A WHOLE BOTTLE of telex. The showers CHANGED COLOR!!!! And yet still had mold growing..... I should have used your toothbrush to scrub the grout.....

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  5. People don't realize the amount of gross in those bathrooms. :6 ..... We used A WHOLE BOTTLE of telex. The showers CHANGED COLOR!!!! And yet still had mold growing..... I should have used your toothbrush to scrub the grout.....

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.