My 3 Year Old Is An Idiot

I've already come to terms with the fact that a part of me will forever be an idiot.
What I can't come to terms with is the fact that my 3 year old is now part of that club.

You're probably thinking, but emily! How can a 3 year old be idiot?!
 .... Easily.

I think all of us mothers can agree that pretty much all 3 year olds are not that smart.
Sometimes I think Tyler may be slightly dumber than his peers.

I present the following arguments:

  • T-Bag was playing with a toy gun at Cabela's and hit himself in the face resulting in a dent in his forehead.

  • He stupidly picked up this dead bird with his bare hands, then picked his nose and ate his booger. That idiot probably caught some bird disease. I had to teach him how to play with dead things with a stick. 

  • I brought cupcakes to my brother Jake's house for the kids to decorate. We gave everyone candles and sang them all happy birthday, because that's how bored I was. Tyler tried to blow out his candle, got too close, and singed all his eyelashes off like a complete fool.

  • He was walking on the sidewalk, fell down, and landed on his face. Now his front tooth is all jacked up and dead.... from walking. 

He is so lucky I think he's cute and funny, otherwise I would disown him fo' sure.


  1. Ill totally take him! He amuses me. I expect him to grow up to be a mechanical engineer/comedian. I love that little boy!
    And Im sorry.... the idiot club is from my side. Meh. 😒

  2. No offense, but I've been with you plenty of late nights when you fell from just walking too. He must get it from his mama.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.