Today's Topic: White Trash
Pulling up to a beautiful secluded cove in Powell only to see it littered with garbage was a testament to how many white trash people run amok on our planet. My earth-loving sister in law trolled around camp gathering all the junk other people had littered.
Dirty diapers, used toilet paper, plastic bottles, beer cans and golf tees were among the treasures she found.
I am an equal opportunity hater so when I refer to "white trash" it pertains more to behavior than "whiteness." All races may be labeled white trash so long as they exhibit some or all of the following behaviors:
- Littering pristine campsites with no regard for nature, beauty or other campers
- Drinking Keystone light, especially if you stack it all in a pyramid on your boat at the marina then take a million pictures of it
- Wearing anything with a beer logo
- You name your kid after a car, band or favorite alcohol
- White shirt, no bra
- More hair on your body than on your head
- Are this guy
- Drive a car that is nicer than your trailer-home.... so people think you are cool when your hittin up the clubs dawg!
- Spend your food stamps on People Magazine
- Use the motorized shopping scooters at Albertsons just because you are lazy
- Put your kids on a leash (I am totally going to do this by the way, I already have a leash and choke chain)
- Face tattoos
- Purchasing your underwear from 25 cent machines. I found these at a roadside cafe while in Rome, Italy. I assume supplying emergency underwear is a lucrative business in places where wine flows like water.
I have witnessed a majority of this madness in the past 2 weeks alone. Obviously this is not a conclusive list, as many other behaviors are considered W.T.
Feel free to contribute to the list. amen.