How about the fact that I am strolling up a steep slippery rock with the grace of a ninja?
I can do whatever I want when I am wearing these. I run up whatever rocks I want to summit. They grip onto everything and will never fall off. You can imagine how awesome my tan lines are. Nothing is as classy as a girl who hasn't showered for a week wearing a pair of these.
I have had them for five years and they are still way better than your sandals. I promise your life would be way better if you bought some.
They are the only shoes I pack when I go to Lake Powell. I am funnier, prettier, and more charming when I wear them. Just ask Jared's family.
I even wear them when I sleep just in case I have to pee in the middle of the night. There is no way I'm popping a squat with out the peace and comfort my Chacos give me.
Let's not forget how useful they are if you want to scoop out dead carp before you go swimming.