Being Pregnant

Good: My boobs are huge
Bad: So is everything else

Good: I can feel my baby kick all the time
Bad: On my bladder and when I'm trying to sleep

Good: My hair grows faster and thicker than it ever has
Bad: Not just the hair on my head

Good: I haven't gained as much weight as I thought I would
Bad: It's because I vomited 5 months straight, and still do at random intervals

Good: I get to buy a lot of new clothes
Bad: Only because none of mine fit me anymore

Good: People are extra courteous and nice to pregnant girls
Bad: It's out of pure pity

Good: Jared and I got to take a Baby-moon cruise
Bad: It was mostly spent in the room, not having sex, but throwing up and being constipated

Good: Pregnant sex is awesome
Bad: My gynecologist saw the bike mark on my inner thigh

Good: People tell me I look great and I'm glowing
Bad: I know it's only because I wear tons of makeup and bronzer to cover the greenish tint of my tired skin and my pregnancy induced breakouts

Good: Shopping for baby clothes!
Bad: Realizing that the kid is going to poop and throw up all over them

Jared bought me a Massage Envy 3 month membership
Bad: not one thing

Good: Jared is extra sweet and nice to me, he gives me massages every night and rubs anti-stretch mark lotion on me.
Bad: The fact that I need stretch mark lotion.

Good: I don't have stretch marks
Bad: ...yet

Being pregnant sucks but ultimately it's kind of awesome. There is a little human growing in me. 23 chromosomes from me and 23 from Jared, which is pretty romantic when you think about it.

Christie (my good and funny friend who is more terrified of kids than I am),
Don't be too afraid.

love, emily


  1. I got to week 37 and was so proud that I had no stretch marks. Then week 38 came...and the stretch marks came with a vengeance! Dark purple even...umm yuck! (I even used anti-stretch mark lotion every single stupid day) Gotta love motherhood! The best part is when your kids see your stretch marks and ask what they are...you can tell them that they did it to you! HAHA!

  2. Oh I love your posts!! Now just double all of your bad problems and that how it feels with twins, maybe even a little more painfull!

  3. my stretch marks came 2 weeks after i had the baby, that was fun! good luck, you will love being a mom.

  4. I'm so glad i'm not the only one that does nothing but vomit.

  5. Thanks, this post caused me to need to pop a Xanax...

    Oh, and is the bite mark on your inner thigh from Jared? Or from the crazy baby monster inside of you coming out to reek havoc on any part of your body it can possibly reach? Pregnancy sounds great.

  6. I everything about pregnancy is a double edge sword. I have an easy pregnancy but delivery babies WAY to early. So take the sickness and the healthy baby at the end. The good thing is eventually even the scariest of stretch marks lighten and pretty much disapear. I love being pregnant!


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.