Some questions the first graders have recently asked:
Question: What are those red things all over your face? They look a little gross.
Answer: Zits, Jaun. They are zits. Sit down and be quiet.
Q: Are you going to tell your baby to sit down and be quiet when it cries?
A: Actually......Yes
Q: Does milk come out of your boobs?
A: Ask your mom
Q: What if you were going poo and the baby fell out? (obviously asked by FRANK)
A: If you only knew..... ask your mom
Q: Would Jared be mad if the baby came out black? My auntie's baby was black and her boyfriend was really mad.
A: Yes, Jared would be mad.
Q: Why does your belly look like a basketball? Can we play with it during free time?
A: Get your Cheeto hands off my stomach.
Q: What if your baby is annoying like Kristina?
A: Don't ever say that again.
Q: Why do you have an outie bellybutton? Can we put tape on it? It looks like it's always looking at us.
A: It is looking at you...
And how could I forget this gem of a conversation?
Kid: I know how your baby got in there......
Me: No you don't.
Kid: yeah I do.
Me: Fine. How?
Kid: S-E-X.
Me: ........ ask your mom.
My last day of work was yesterday. Bittersweet.
Considering I am 38 weeks pregnant I figured I should gracefully bow out now while I don't have body fluids coming out everywhere. I do not want to field questions about amniotic fluid or colostrum.
amen.
