Painting My Boobs

A couple weeks ago, I had the pleasure of entertaining a particularly "spirited" child at the Boys and Girls Club. She was acting a fool in her class and her punishment was to hang out with me for the day. 

Staff often threaten misbehaving kids with a trip to "Miss Emily". 

That's right. I make kids cry.

The prisoner was delivered to me. 
 It turned out the little girl was just feeling sick and missing her military dad who had been deployed. It was my duty as a patriotic American to distract the little girl.

I enlisted the minions to help me.

We have had these tiny wooden birdhouses in our office forever. We also have huge bottles of paint.

Needless to say, we painted the crap out of those birdhouses. 
When we were done we showed off our freshly painted trinkets to the rest of the kids and BGC staff. 

They really appreciated the beauty that emanates from a simple birdhouse that is too small to actually use.

 I was pumped. 

 Well, I WAS pumped until I got home and noticed that, at some point, I had dunked my nips in purple paint......... and NO ONE told me.

No wonder the moms were not especially nice to me when they signed their kids out......
And no wonder the fathers were. 

 I feel violated. amen.


  1. I painted our bedroom yesterday and ran to the store mid project and same thing! At one point my boobs must have brushed up against the wall because my dark brown shirt had two bright blue Easter egg sized paint marks right across my boobies and I didn't notice till I got home. Now the pharmacists snicker "you must have been painting today" made more sense.... Funny that happened to both of us this week!

  2. @QNC: You should have told the pharmacist, "That's 2012 fashion!" LOL.

    Emily, you should have posted the pictures of your newly painted birdhouses. That's not bad for a purple paint, LOL.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.