We have a guava tree. And it smells like shit.
There is no way around it. 

Jared thinks he's a connoisseur of fine fruit trees and picked this charmer up a couple of years ago. 

While beautiful, this tree spawns fruit with a smell that makes you want to repent. 

I cannot express my hatred of it enough. It smells like dead lizards rotting inside a human digestive tract mixed with the flesh of a 3 week old hippopotamus carcass. For realsies.

It is awful.

Every so often Jared skips into our house with a handful of stink-fruit and leaves them on the kitchen counter for me. 

Earlier today, I had just cleaned the kitchen. I left for a minute to take a duece and when I returned and a wall of foulness hit me. 5 guavas sat smugly on my counter.

I was offended. 

I was so offended that I'm not even going to go to church for a few weeks.



  1. Oh my gosh my dear. You can make me laugh. Tell Jared thank you for not sharing stink fruit with us while we visited. I love you

  2. Quentin ate Durian in class this week. He came home smelling like he had been making out with a dirty sock. Sick.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.