Douche Shirt

Raise your hand if you love baby clothes!!! 
If you could see me now, I would be raising my hand like a first grader who knows the answer. 

I'm a little picky when it comes to dressing Ryan. I like plain basic pieces in tan, white, blue or grey. 
Easy and Simple, everything matches. Done.

I HATE HATE HATE baby clothes with cutesy printed nonsense like:
  • Daddy's #1 Super Best Friend
  • World's Greatest Milk Drinker 
  • Grandma Loves me the Most and I'm the Cutest Grandchild
  • Mommy's little wuss
I also hate hipster babies.
I was at a little girl's birthday party and this one chic had her  baby boy dressed up in white jeans and a green v-neck shirt with a little scarf around his neck. He totally looked like a pansy. Hip baby was probably on his way to Starbucks to meet other hipster babies and take ironic pictures.   

Douche bag babies are the worst.
You know what I'm talking about..... Jersey Shore style - dragon prints, rhinestones, hardcore skulls, black scribbles, embellished denim, and angel wings. Oh my.

I bought this cute little shirt thinking how awesome it would look with Cryin Ryan's drool all over it.
It's like a little man shirt.

I took it home and washed it. When I put it away I noticed something unsavory..... black lettering covered the back... I flipped it over and indeed this was a douche bag shirt.

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

After a moment of inner conflict between my resolve to not waste things/money and my hatred of all things douche, I decided to make the best of it. 

If I am going to do something, I'm going to do it 100% 
When Pee-Baby wears this shirt he will embody a true douche. 

....Blow-out and all. Clearly, I'm not messing around. amen.



  1. I hope he's not DTF.....

  2. i am sooo with you on that! (i've had to return like half the clothes i got at my baby shower because of that same reason.) and ryan looks so totally hot in the last two pictures--is he seeing anyone? ;)

  3. Ok. My grandsons hair looks like someone scared him!


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.