Cat Meat

A little while ago, I was helping a friend by hanging out with her two cute girls. The girls are 5 and 8 years old, and cuter than kittens in a boot.

We went to the Camarillo Street Festival and looked around at all those booths with the same overpriced crap they have at every town fair. You know, the ones with embroidered dog jackets and homemade jewelry... Then we checked out all the creepy carnival rides that cost more than I paid for my last tank of gas. I hate getting ripped off (especially by carnies), so I only let the kids go on one ride.... even though they had their own money. 

I also don't trust the carnies as they all look rapey. Letting the girls only go on one ride reduced their possible abduction status by at least 65%.

Later, at my house the girls wanted to check out my my awesome jungle of a backyard. My yard has sidewalk pathways around it. We were making our rounds and I noticed something by the corner patio.

We all walked closer to it. I could tell this was no good. It was too late to make the kids back up. They had already seen it: 

A partially decomposed house-cat.

Instead of being scared and grossed out, the girls were stoked.

Then the 8 year old said the awesomest thing I have heard for weeks.

"I've never seen Cat meat..."

That's correct. She saw a rotting aminal carcus and thought it was cool she could see the meat. And she called the insides "meat".


  1. How big is your yard that you can have a partially rotted cat back there and not notice?

    Also, your reference to the word "rapey" reminded me of all your nicknames for your guy friends, including "rapey jake"

  2. This is not a rotted cat. This is a mutilated cat. I LOVE your blog posts, but this is not funny.

  3. How can you tell its mutilated? And should Em worry about safety? She does have a lot of wildlife by her home.

  4. I agree, this is a cat that somebody purposefully mutilated and killed. If it were decomposing the entire cat would be in the same phase of rotting. Instead, you can clearly see that somebody gutted this poor animal. Animal torture/cruelty/mutilation etc. is a crime and should be reported. It is not a joke and not funny.

  5. Anon, you are probably right about this cat being mutilated. We have coyotes and bobcats that live in the hills next to our house. They are known for attacking house cats. That is why we don't let ours outside. Dead cats are not funny, but the little girls response was hilarious.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.