I Have Crooked Kids

Ryan was born with a super crooked nose.
It was slightly alarming.

When I first saw him I wondered how hard it would be to switch him with one of the other babies in the nursery with straight noses.

Then I remembered that was a felony.

Just kidding. I was super excited for this little crooked-nosed bundle of joy.

I adored him and even breastfed him! (Even though it hurt worse than a punch to the vadge.)
I worried about him. He had a bit of a hard time breathing, especially when smashed up against my humongous boobs.

I was glad everything else about him was healthy
I asked our doctors about surgery, nose braces, or anything else that would make him "normal" and help him breathe better. 

As a mom you just want your little poop-machine to be perfect.
Thankfully a crooked nose is not that big of a deal compared to other complications.

Ryan's little nose straightened out pretty quickly. After a week it was perfectly straight.

I was relieved.
Mostly because I didn't feel like I would suffocate him with my vein-y post-pregnancy tits.

I thought this would be the only crooked thing in my family.

Then little baby T-Bag came along.
He was crooked too.

But he was crooked in a much more amusing way.

T-Bag was born with a bent line down his bum.
It definitely did not straighten out, since the picture above is from today. 

But who am I to judge his split?
The top of his butt crack is a free spirit.

If his crack wants to bend towards the left I should support and accept it.
I will foster a loving environment for it and constantly reinforce my love and care for it.

At least this crookedness won't be suffocated by my boobs. 

Well played God. Well played.
Very clever.

However, if we are blessed with another child, I'm concerned/excited to find what will be crooked next.

Any guesses?


  1. You've been pinning maternity outfits, so my guess is we won't have to wait very much longer to find out...

  2. Well.... If next baby is like you, it will have one of its front teeth in the middle because of an extra eye-tooth. So I'm gonna guess their teeth! Wish I could post a cute little picture of your crooked smile!

  3. ...."crooked Hillary" isn't a relative is she???

  4. So throw is the OTHER reason I haven't seen you for a few days! Emily is pregnant!!! πŸ˜œπŸ˜ŠπŸ‘ΌπŸΌYay I hope you get a girl! You NEEEED a girl!!! And Tyler's bum is THE cutest little bum, crooked and all!!!


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.