Potty Training 2.0

I started potty training my 3 year old, Ryan, a couple of weeks after Titty Monkey was born in March. No, he is still not potty-trained and  yes, we started almost 6 months ago.

I began with the "chill parent"/lazy-as-crap approach, which means I bought him Pull-Ups and every few hours I asked him if he wanted to take a dump in the toilet.

He would always answer, "no, Ryan like a poo in his pants..." and then he would happily go squat in a corner somewhere.

 

Obviously, this method wasn't producing results (except in the corner). I did the whole sticker chart and reward system. I gave him stickers for pee and handfuls of marshmallows for poo. He got sick of the rewards after one day.

I tried other rewards. Candy, toys, trips to the park, watching Netflix and letting him run around naked.... I even let him play with that brown play-dough hoping he would be inspired.

Our most problematic times came when I would want him to try going in the toilet at set intervals. Apparently, little boys do not appreciate being snatched from their toys every 20 min.

Every time I made him go, one of is would end up in tears... and by that I mean HE would end up in tears since I hate crying.

Finally he sort of starting to get the hang of it, but still preferred to convenience of going straight in his pants.
We had a road trip coming up, so I made an executive (read: lazy) parenting decision. Ryan would wear diapers on the trip. I didn't want to mix Ryan's inevitable accidents with his cloth-covered car seat.

Bad Parenting Decision #56845

Fast forward to after the trip.....
He basically wants nothing to do with the toilet.

I know my parenting recorded is not pristine but I really don't need another testament of my crappy mothering skills.

I just really, really, really hate poop.

As for now i'm using the excuse that I can't potty train him until we get settle in a house, and his bowel can move in a consistent environment.

 

 

Oh yes.

Here is a picture of my diaper-clad kid pretending to be a tortoise. ("Not a turtle, mom!!! I is a tortoise!!!!!!)

 

 

Proud moments all around.

 

 

 

P.S. Ryan pooped in the bath last night

 

P.S.S. If you ever need parenting advice, let me know.

 

 

 

 



Poo-dough and Utah

At the end of August, we moved from California to Utah in two days.
The boys were little angels the entire time!

Just kidding.

They were awful.

I even packed Cryin' Ryan a special bag of cool new toys - and he still pissed me off the whole time.

At one point I sat in the back seat, while my mom drove, and fed baby Tyler. Yes, I hovered over Titty Monkey while he was strapped in his carseat and breastfed him. My shirt was up and my entire boob was dangling in his face.

I consider this one of my life's classier moments.

My mom flew out to California a few days before we were leaving. She is a maniac and whipped my house and my butt into shape.

One the day we began our Mormon pilgrimage to Salt Lake City, my dad flew into Los Angeles just so he could help us drive back. OMG. My parents are freaking awesome.

They are so good to me.
Part of me believes they are so nice because they figured I'd probably be in jail at this point in my life.
Parents get all sorts of proud when their adult children stay out of prison.

We arrived at my parents house/our house for the next couple of months.

It was awesome, and not just because I didn't have to be in my car with 2 kids anymore.

I am a girl who loves mountains, snow, and family.

Lucky for me, Utah has all three.


P.S. the moment we got to my parents house, my mom made brown play-dough and encouraged Ryan to call it Poo-dough and helped him sculpt a Poo Clown.

 

 

I never thought I would live in Utah again, but it feels good to be home. ♥

  

 

 

 

 

Goodbye California

Goodbye beautiful California.
I'm going to miss you. You have been good to me and my heart hurts a little as I type this.


Goodbye day trips to Santa Barbara.

Goodbye annoying 25mph speed limit all the way up the hills to my house.

Goodbye amazing Camarillo parks and playgrounds.

Goodbye super nice mailman, Terry.

Goodbye amazing view of Ventura county/little sliver of the Pacific ocean from my windows.

Goodbye Ryan's angelic nursery teachers who graciously put up with his antics.

Goodbye best weather in the world. Sunny blue skies at 70-80 degrees year-round.

Goodbye good friends who are even better examples.

Goodbye racial and cultural diversity.

Goodbye most amazing strawberries grown in the free world.

Goodbye over-priced gasoline.

Goodbye my most favorite visiting teachers/friends ever - Gayle and Keiko.

Goodbye delicious avocado trees in my backyard.

Goodbye scary county road without sidewalks that I run on in my neighborhood.

Goodbye 10-15 minute drive to the beach.

Goodbye living across the street from one of my best friends and the BEST old-person EVER. Jared's grandma.

 

Goodbye quiet drives down Pacific Coast Highway.

Goodbye kids at the Boys and Girls Club, who made me laugh hard and taught me all the dirty words in Spanish.

Goodbye Roscoe's chicken and waffles.

Goodbye trips to Ventura just to buy lemon bars and thick bacon at Lassen's.

Goodbye two of my most favorite girls ever.

 

Goodbye cute little friends who played with Ryan.

 



 

I am leaving you for another state. One with my family, and reasonable real estate prices.


It's not you California...... it's me.

 

 

p.s. Lisa, don't worry, I'm alive. :)