Squirrel Mowing

Ohio brought many adventures, among my favorites is the lawn mower. You see, through a wild chain of connections Jared and I were able to finagle a deal to mow the empty lots of an upscale housing development. The neighborhood was just beginning development so while the streets and sidewalks were paved, the lots (where the houses were to be built) were covered with newly laid sod. Jared and I bought a commercial grade lawn mower that cost more than my car. We were paid handsomely for the weekly mowing and paid the mower off in 3 months. In time, we ended up purchasing a commercial grade push mower and trimmer. Once a week Jared and I suited up in trucker hats, wife beaters, pink bikini tops, and jean shorts to manicure Sweet Water Development's 10 acres of grass.


I like to call this picture, White Trash in the Summertime. I keep things classy.


I do not have the cleanest driving record..... in fact, I was just in an accident where some guy totaled my 3 week old, 2009 Honda Fit (insert tears). With Jared doing all the trimming I was left with the mower. I happily accepted my new task. I strapped on a pink bikini top hoping to get a tan and hooked up to my iPod. For 5 hours every week I did my best to make Dayton's landscape a little better. Zig-zag, heart, and star shaped patterns were common on lots 3-9. Jared did not appreciate my designs as they took 3 times as long. He also cringed every time I ran over big rocks. This only happened like 5 or 6 times a mowing. I thought that was a pretty low number considering all the rocks that were present. My underestimation of the mower blade clearance caused more problems than just shooting rocks everywhere.
Squirrels are usually skittish and when I approached one on the mower I assumed that he would run. Squirrel road kill is bad enough, but chopped up squirrel guts spraying out the side of your vehicle is a foul, foul experience.

Keep in mind that this is Ohio we are talking about. There was a man-made lake in the middle of all of this. Ohio is lush and green. Some of the prettiest parts of the US are in that area. I loved being outside. But the summers are hot, humid, and angry. I had to stay hydrated and became embarrassingly good at going "number one" behind the trees.

We sold the mower before we moved to California. I sadly kissed it goodbye. Mowing the lawn here in CA is much different. My lawn is only green beneath the trees that shade it. The rest of the grass is dying and crunchy. I still mow it though. And luckily we have a fence so my neighbors aren't creeped out by my pink bikini and hiking boots. amen.