As I have mentioned before, I have done my fair share of babysitting and being a nanny. One family in particular made me think that being a mom isn't the worst thing that could happen. It didn't hurt that the little 2 year old girl Amanda, was cuter than an Anthropologie dress.
Steven, the 4 year old man, was one of my favorite little buddies. When watching them for a week while their parents went on a cruise, I had packed my Victoria's Secret Catalogue to look through. He checked it out with me at lunch (not the lingerie section) and told me I was prettier than any of the VS models. From then on I had a special place in my heart for the little liar.
8 year old Marianne is the "perfect child" personified. Not in the annoying way though. She LOVED to read... a girl after my own heart. After the younger two were in bed, she and I would stay up late reading. This caused a little problem. After having to drive her to school after missing the bus for the second time, I was really worried about what her parents would think after finding out about their daughters new tardy record. I explained this to her. She simply said "don't worry! My mom always drops me off late!". Good to know.
I had once made dinner for them, trying to follow their Mom's instructions. I am a bad cook. What was supposed to be Rainbow Macaroni ended looking like Beef a la Vomit. After poking around in the mess placed in front of them, Steven informed me that this didn't really look like what his Mom makes. After a brief pause he then said, "Thanks anyway for trying." Marianne chimed in reassuring me that "even though it looks a little gross, we'll still try to eat it", followed by another "Thanks for trying." Awesome. I know how picky kids can be about food. This is when I realized that being a mom wouldn't suck that bad.

Before moving from Ohio to California I decided to take them all to the Dayton Children's Museum. As we wandered past the mini grocery store and the tiny fire station, I realized that I would probably miss them, which did freak me out a little. Actually a lot. I usually only like kids for about 2-3 hours.

As we approached the American Eagle's enclosure, I was stoked to find that it was feeding time and we were the only people around to watch. I then remembered I was with kids. From my rigorous training as a kid wrangler I know that they sometimes freak out around blood and seeing animals rip each other apart.
Unsure of whether to stay or not, the eagle rushed down and grabbed a chubby white mouse. He landed on a branch right in front of our faces. With the 2 year old in my arms we silently waited for what the eagle would do next. Out of nowhere I hear 4 year old Steven mumbling something. I look over and see his head bowed and arms folded in prayer. Expecting him to be pleading to God for the white mouse's safety I lean closer to decipher his words. Then I hear, "Please Heavenly Father, make the eagle rip the head off the mouse so I can see it's guts.... and make it eat the head too. Amen". God acquiesced and the eagle did just that.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you who raise kids that don't suck.


  1. Ya, my kids probably suck sometimes... Good thing they are so cute! :) PS- I love your posts! I get very close to peeing my pants every time! Thanks!

  2. I love your story. You should think about sending it in to Parent's Magazine.

    Glad to see you are back. I can't wait to hear all about it.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.