Wednesday, May 19, I participated in my fake graduation ceremony.
Fake because all they handed me was a blank sheet of paper inside a red leather folder.
Also fake because I still have 3 summer classes before I actually earn the degree.
Though a lie, my graduation was monumental nonetheless.
Fake because all they handed me was a blank sheet of paper inside a red leather folder.
Also fake because I still have 3 summer classes before I actually earn the degree.
Though a lie, my graduation was monumental nonetheless.
As I waltzed across the stage alongside the other 1200 graduates, I felt in my heart that I was about to change the world for the better. Nothing like a state university's mass graduation can fill your soul with determination and resolve take on human poverty and global warming. Listening to the same two announcers read names for over 3 hours will do that to you.
When you earn a degree in Sociology you just know you will be successful and make a huge impact on the world.
Graduating in 4 years is for wussies. Have you ever wondered how you can push your graduation date back a few years?
Follow these steps to extend your 4 years at college into a more substantial chunk of time:
1. From a young age, tell your parents that you hate college and there is no way you are going. Do absolutely nothing to ensure your place at a reputable university. This will show your parents that your teenage angst is serious and not even messing around. When you realize that Assistant Manager at a mall is not you goal in life you hurry and to apply the the crappiest college you can think of.
2. Transfer to a bunch of different schools. Not only will you lose a ton of credits, you will lose money, time, and patience. I only transferred to 5 different schools, but with more ambition I am sure you could at least enroll at 9 adding 3-4 years onto your career as a professional student.
3. Move into your father-in-laws basement and quit school for a few semesters so you can travel to awesome places.
4. Transfer again.
5. Take a ton a of cool classes that have nothing to do with your major like, History of Rock and Roll, Beginning Pottery, Costume Design, Intro to Bee-keeping and Ballroom Dancing.
6. Fail math class 3 different times at 3 different schools.
7. Don't choose your major until you are a senior.
Follow this action plan and you too can be the proud owner of a $30,000 piece of paper. 1. From a young age, tell your parents that you hate college and there is no way you are going. Do absolutely nothing to ensure your place at a reputable university. This will show your parents that your teenage angst is serious and not even messing around. When you realize that Assistant Manager at a mall is not you goal in life you hurry and to apply the the crappiest college you can think of.
2. Transfer to a bunch of different schools. Not only will you lose a ton of credits, you will lose money, time, and patience. I only transferred to 5 different schools, but with more ambition I am sure you could at least enroll at 9 adding 3-4 years onto your career as a professional student.
3. Move into your father-in-laws basement and quit school for a few semesters so you can travel to awesome places.
4. Transfer again.
5. Take a ton a of cool classes that have nothing to do with your major like, History of Rock and Roll, Beginning Pottery, Costume Design, Intro to Bee-keeping and Ballroom Dancing.
6. Fail math class 3 different times at 3 different schools.
7. Don't choose your major until you are a senior.
