B is for Bratty

About a month ago, after my constipation issues, this pleasant conversation took place.

Office Girl: Vagina doctors of Channel Islands, how may I help you?

Me: Hi, I missed my appointment last Thursday due to extreme constipation. I need to reschedule.

OG: You didn't show up for your appointment last week? Shame on you. I will take the next few minutes to get mad at you and make you feel guilty for missing your appointment...............................................Ok, which doctor do you normally see?

Me: Dr. Ferro (the only female at that practice)

OG: oh..... well..... she is out of town this entire week.

Me: No big deal, I'll make an appointment for next week.

OG: No, that's too late, it says here that you need to have your 16 week exam.

Me: No.

OG: um.....

Me: There is no way I'm going to a male Doctor for this. I'll wait for Dr. Ferro

OG: No, it will be too late, you need to come in asap.

Me: No way.

OG: I'll schedule your appointment

Me: I don't think you understand. I have a major problem with male doctors. I sometimes have to get internal ultrasounds because of previous cysts and there is no way that is happening with a male doctor.

OG: You still need to come in.

Me: Do you even know what an internal ultrasound is?

OG: I don't think you have to have one of those.

Me: You better make sure because if I come in and have to do any vagina stuff, I'll fake constipation and leave.

OG: Please hold.................................................

OG: Ok, you only have to have an external ultrasound.

Me: No vagina stuff?

OG: No vagina stuff.

Me: Promise?

OG: Promise.

Me: K - sign me up.

Don't worry, I just called back later and rescheduled with the chic doctor.


  1. I really wish I had no idea what you were talking about.... Damn perverted technology.

  2. Did you really write an entire post about today and NOT write what you're having???

    You ARE a brat!


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.