12.30.2010

Mormons in Vegas

Welcome to the Annual Barlocker Mormon Christmas Trip to Sin City!!!

That's right. Every year, a few days before Christmas the Barlocker's get together in one of the dirtiest cities in America.

Vegas as a Mormon is an entirely different experience.

For instance:

Latino dudes handing you porn on the street? - Simply reply with "No me gusta pinoche"

Half dressed alcoholic begging for money on the street? - Remind them "Jesus loves you" and only make fun of them when they are out of hearing range.

Tempted by the hypnotizing ring of the slot machines? - Just sneak down there at night when your parents and husband aren't there to give you disapproving stares. It's ok to gamble if it's only $10 on the Wild Unicorn slot machines right?

You are probably thinking.... If you don't collect free porn, make fun of homeless people or gamble, why go to Vegas?

1. Food
The Treasure Island buffet has Cotton Candy.

2. Shopping
My Mom and Dad love me and like to buy me stuff and things.

3. Shows
We saw Blue man group and Cirque de Soleil's Le Reve.



Also if you are pregnant you can have even more fun!!!

3. While you are throwing up in the bathroom from morning sickness, you can accidentally pee your pants. Then when you join everyone else at the table you can explain yourself. Walking back to your hotel on the strip is even more fun as you waddle along in your soiled pants. At least it was raining so moist pants were a little more common.

4. While driving home the baby can kick your bladder and make you have to pop a squat on the side of the road (namely ZZYZX road). This is even better if you have a little diarrhea. It's especially awesome when your husband promises not to watch but then totally watches the whole thing. At least I had wet naps in the car....

(Note: maternity pants are even less flattering when they're around your ankles.)

amen.

2 comments:

  1. Glad to see you are still puking, peeing your pants, and letting people buy you stuff in Vegas....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kylee and Kara told me your blog is brilliant and I should read it. So I plan on it from now on.
    Mindy (McKinnon) Curtis

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.