Meet Pee-Baby

This is Ryan James Scott. Also known as crooked nose, milk-face and pee-baby.
He was born 5 days early April 27, 2011 after I drank a generous amount of Castor oil.

(I would expand on the birth story but I like to keep things classy in this blog, so you'll just have to use your imagination.....it includes ample amounts of blood and pain, emergency surgery on my kooter, only one use of the "f" word, 1 1/2 week long recovery complete with pain pills that made me dumber than usual, and a stunned/angry baby.)

He had a really crooked nose when he was born. I assume my body squished him out of pure rage from being pregnant. It has straightened out now which is kind of a miracle because his face is squished up against my giant boobs every 3 hours.

I also callhim milk-face because after he eats, he looks like a crazed rabid squirrel with milk all over his little face. Funny or gross? I'm going to say it's a little of both.

Pee-baby got this moniker after my mom and I went to the movies with him. He peed all over himself after I forgot to tuck his baby-peen down in the diaper. I did'nt realize he peed until Thor was almost over. I went to change him and found newborn urine saturated through his clothes and 2 layers of blankets. The grossest part was that his umbilical stump thing was all soggy from the pee bath. bleh..... hence, pee-baby.

The best part about pee-baby/Ryan is that he smiles when I talk to him or kiss him. Either he is responding to my voice or has rather well timed gas.



  1. You need to have like 50 kids. 1st off he is adorable and 2nd you are one sexy biotch. I can't believe you look like that after just squeezing out a baby a few weeks ago.

  2. He is so cute!!!!! Congrats! I can't wait to see him in person.

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  4. That above comment was from me under my husbands account so I deleted it, I didn't want you to think some weird guy was stalking you. Anywho, he is soooo cute and I have been waiting FOREVER for this post. I also love graphic birth stories so please feel free to elaborate.

  5. Ryan is very cute! congrats!! did you really drink castor oil? I did with sydney and it worked, but it is so disgusting. I attempted a little for Grady but just couldn't drink enough.

  6. Congrats on baby Ryan, he is so cute!! You look great!

  7. Congrats :) He is adorable! That pic of him smiling is priceless!! AND you look AMAZING!!! Glad the castor oil worked out for you ;)

  8. I should be leaving you comments about how cute your baby is. But all I can do is be pissed about how skinny you are. Don't you know snorting coke is bad for your baby?

  9. I don't know you or how I came across your blog really but you crack me up! Congrats on the baby boy! you look GREAT! seriously. I'm 20, have no kids & you look way better than me.

    ps. I've never heard of a squished nose, ears are common but the nose thing is funny! he wanted to give you something to blog about i guess.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.