5.13.2011

My Mom is Better Than Your Mom: Part II

My mom flew out from Salt Lake City and spent 2 weeks with me after I had the baby. Like I said, my mom is WAY better than your mom. Actually my mom could totally beat your mom up.

AND my dad surprised us by showing up a few days before my mom left to meet the baby. He wasn't going to come to California but showed up at my house at 1 in the morning. I love being my parents favorite child.

I would have been a raging mess without my mom. I have been a nanny, worked with kids a lot and am the second oldest of 7 kids. I thought I had a pretty good idea of how to wrangle a baby. Turns out I lacked the special tricks mom's know.

  • Babies like to be sung to, even if you suck at singing.
  • Don't use cold water to wash them
  • Wash the butt last.
  • Tuck the wienie down.
  • Eat a ton of food so you have giant monster tits to breastfeed with.
  • Breast pads can double as coasters.
  • Treat poop stains immediately or your baby will be wearing yellow-tinged clothing.
  • Resign yourself to the fact that you are going to be changing diapers 10 to 567 times a day.

She even spent Mother's day taking care of me and my sweet little old man pee-baby. Dang I'm lucky.