UGGGHHH!
I somehow managed to make a baby for nine months and not get a single stretch mark. (Except the ones on my upper thighs... they are tiny so they don't count, right?)
But then,
I was rolling up my hot curling iron when my sweet little baby rushed in and tackled my legs. I ended up burning my wrist and stomach.
Burns are the worst.
I walked around the elementary school the first week of my job with a huge band-aid on my inner wrist. More than one person said I looked like a crack addict. It didn't help that my wounds were bloody and green with pus. Fortunately the kids loved looking at it.
When the burns finally healed I was left with fugly scars.
The one on my stomach doesn't look too bad when I coat it in self tanner, but for your enjoyment I Photoshopped the bottom picture so you can see it better.
It totally looks like a stretch mark.
Great.
It's just what I've always wanted.
