Ryan was uninterested in using the toilet. He was all too happy to run around with a load in his pants. I proposed the idea of potty training to him and he said, "no tanks, Ryan pee diaper. I'm little."
Yep. Little and disgusting.
My utter contempt for changing diapers has led me to put the smack down the last week and a half.
I was using Pull-Ups for a while but saw no real progress. Finally I accepted the fact that I would have to put underwear on him and embrace the foul mess that would follow.
We quickly got the whole pee situation under control after a two days and 16 loads of laundry.
I was really grateful that I have wood floors throughout my house and a leather couch because Ryan left snail trails everywhere.
I was also thankful for my industrial sized bottle of Lysol with bleach and my unreliable short term memory.
We still had a BIG problem though.
Ryan REFUSED to #2 in the toilet. He did once a couple months ago, so I knew he was capable.
I tried everything, but he preferred to hide behind the chair and poop in shame.
I really wanted to avoid buying him a bunch of toys to bribe him with, but I was getting desperate. Wiping a three year old logs that are literally spackled in his crack is disturbing. The only spackling I like to see involves drywall, not my kid's butt.
Plus, with 2 kids in diapers, the amount of Diaper Genie sausages I have been making is unacceptable.
We went to Target and I let him pick out any toy he wanted. The deal was that if he dumped in the toilet and not on his pants, that he would get to play with said toys for 15 minutes. After the 15 we would put the toys away until a subsequent #2 filled the toilet. And so on.
We went to the toy section of the store and Ryan ran around like a madman for 20 minutes before picking this out:
The Play Doh Saw Mill.
A toy that oozes out brown logs that you cut with a circular saw.
How appropriate.
P.S. Ever since I bribed him with the toys Ryan has pooped in the toilet EVERY SINGLE TIME. No accidents since.....
Little punk....
