9.28.2015
Peach Hater
I am in the midst of an OCD crisis.
My backyard is covered with rotten, smashed peaches.
It's foul.
The previous owners of our house thought it would be a great idea to plant two overzealous peach trees on our ledge.
But guess what... It wasn't a great idea.
I don't can food even though it's a sin here in Utah. I'm too disinterested in spending an entire day in the kitchen. And canned peaches at the store are only like $2.
My little family can't eat that many peaches, and neither can our neighbors, extended family, and random people on the street I give them to.
They are organic and rot faster. Plus I am not going to poison my family by letting them eat organic free-range peaches.
In California we had 3 mature avocado trees. I didn't mind them at all because Jared would eat 5 a day. And friends were more than happy to take extras off our hands.
We had so many peaches that a ton of them fell off the tree and all over our cement.
Ryan stomped on all of them, to make sure they were extra hard to clean up.
The ones he didn't destroy lured the neighborhood deer clan to our backyard.
I let the deer eat their hearts out.... until I realized they would spit the slimy peach pits out and they would stick to everything. I had to hack each pit off the cement with an ice pick.
My neighbors are probably a little concerned when they saw some chick in her ugly pajamas beating the ground with a weapon. I'm sure I had an angry serial killer-esque grin on my face. I bet they locked their doors that night.
These stupid peaches have been my enemy this summer. My life is so hard :(
I'm going to cut those entitled trees down, plant evergreens, and see how those peach trees like it.
I have never hated a fruit so bad in my life.
It's going be a while before I recover and learn to love again.