I don't know how wise it is to post these pictures.
Now they will be available for anyone to blackmail me with.
Plus, I'm probably going to attract a lot of stalkers because of how incredible I look.
Thankfully, I am not burdened with wisdom.
I re-found these photos last week and cannot believe how stylish and good looking I was a kid.
I wonder what my mom was thinking when she bought me this catastrophe of a dress. Was she mad at me that day? Was I being punished? We may never know.
Look at this fine young specimen of a 4th grader.
That bow on top of my head would have been cute if I was 6 months old.
I remember this day well. It was my first day of 4th grade at a new school.
I thought I looked so awesome, and I was right.
I had picked this outfit out myself and styled it with a chic black belt so my shorts would stay up as high as possible. I did my own hair and hair-sprayed my home-permed hair thoroughly because I wanted to look this good even after recess.
I bet you never thought I was such a cool kid.
My pose here says, "I may have stole this shirt from my brother but I know I'm looking hot, and by the way, I have an attitude."
These cool contemporary backdrop pictures were not included with the normal school pictures.
I begged my parents to buy them since I thought I looked so awesome/radical. They bought them for me because I think they felt bad about the red polka dot dress.
I cut up the photos into the little individual squares, wrote personalized notes on the back, and handed them out to literally everyone I knew.
I was pretty satisfied with myself and looking back, I can see why.
Then I pulled out this treasure:
DAAANNNNNNGGGGGGG.
This picture is majestic.
Notice, if you will:
1. Large bow in my crunchy permed hair.
2. My bangs combed to the side because I was too cool for bangs that day.
3. Necklace made from a rolled up bandana and painted wood pieces from Micheal's.
4. FANNY PACK.
5. Fashion-forward modeling pose to show how cultured I am.
I even wrote on the back of this picture - You in you moddiling stage! - like I knew my 32 year old self would find it one day and wonder what was going on and why I was such a good model.
I hate myself so bad right now.
