10.17.2016

Why You Should Stop Folding Your Laundry


Folding laundry is for overachievers. So it's not for me.
I like to operate in the margins and do things a little different.....and I hate folding...... and I'm lazy. 


Sexy computer babe, Bill Gates, said it best:





I'm a clean freak so I wash my kids clothes, pajamas, blankets, and finger-less Micheal Jackson gloves every time they wear them. Even if they only wore it for a couple of hours.
Kids are gross.

I don't need dirty clothes fouling up my clean house.

And, I really don't like smelling boogers, dirt, and boy sweat.
I like when they smell like toxic chemicals like bleach, detergent, and fabric softener.

That's right. I routinely sniff my children.

I know this compulsion creates more laundry for me, but I am too messed up in the head to stop the washing madness.

Washing and drying the clothes is no big deal.
It's the folding that cramps my mom-ing style.


I hate folding laundry because:

  • It's sooooo boring.
I don't have a long attention span for mindless monotony. Never mind, I just remembered I look at Facebook and Pinterest all the time.
What I meant was that I don't have a long attention span for boring stuff.

  • I hate it.
I just stand at the counter for an hour and fold crap.

  • It's annoying.
The laundry is never truly done. It's annoying because every time you think you are caught up, your 2 year old pisses out of his diaper in the middle of the night and now you have to do more laundry.





  • It gets ruined by my kids. 
I make my spawns put their own laundry away because I want to teach them a lesson. And that lesson is - Mommy hates putting laundry away so you have to or I will destroy everything you love.

Inevitably, one the them drops and entire stack on the way and everything I worked so hard for is ruined.
Then those little punks scurry through their drawers like rats and unfold everything. I know my fellow mom's feel my pain on this one.




 


  • It's stupid.

  • I'm an adult and don't have to fold laundry if I don't want to. So there's that.


A few years ago I  realized that folding clothes is not necessary. You can still live a happy and fulfilled life if your undies are in wads and your shirts are shoved in a bin.







I still sort all the clothes so they are easy to find.
I'm non-nonchalant about folding but a little obsessive when it comes to organization.
Every clothing type has a designated space.

I bought a bunch of hooks to hang the kids nicer shirts and jackets on.
I got them at the Container Store and they are ridiculously useful. Hooks are so easy even T-Bag Tyler can hang up his shirts.










You know what else?
I refuse to iron anything except my hair.
Downy makes an enchanting product called wrinkle release and it actually works.
Spray that stuff on and you are good to go.
And it smells clean and fresh.







By the way, Husband does his own laundry, which is braggable.
He builds me furniture like a man and washes his own clothing like a woman. He also puts the toilet seat down.

He is so romantic.


These actions make up for the time when he bought me that apology dong.



If I was strong enough to stop folding, then so are you. (Unless you honestly enjoy folding, in that case you fold your little heart out. I respect your laundry decisions.)

It's time to make a stand against the establishment. Stick it to the Man and stop folding laundry. They can't control you anymore.
You can be lazy about laundry if you really put your mind to it.

YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.

Good luck comrade.




5 comments:

  1. I hate laundry too. 75% of the time my husband does it because I'm so terrible. Last night my little boy dumped out a basket of freshly folded clothes so I tossed them back in the basket and am going to live out of it because I don't want to fold them again. I am basically the furthest thing from a Pinterest mom. lol

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  2. I wish I had your advice when you were a kid! Smartest thing ever! And kids clothes never stay folded anyway!

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  3. I wish I had your advice when you were a kid! Smartest thing ever! And kids clothes never stay folded anyway!

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  4. These are amazing ideas!!!!!! I hate hate hate laundry.

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  5. Lol great post. Love the sarcastic tone.

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Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.